Travelers Beware: Advice for Foreigners

Are you looking to move to Canada? Here are some pointers!

Don’t.

Seriously. Canada is a hellhole. Why the fuck are you moving here? I see a few Europeans following this blog (goenendag, alle!) and I assure you that there is nothing here that would constitute an improvement for you. If you’re choosing a country to move to in North America, the choice is really which of a narrow band of US states you want to move to. Or I suppose Quebec is always an option, though they wisely do their own thing with immigration and I know nothing about that system so you’re on your own.

I strongly urge you to reconsider working in Canada. Even the refugee will find starvation here, albeit of the spiritual kind rather than the physical kind. Don’t come to English Canada as a tourist unless you’re going out into the wilderness to go camping or something. Run, don’t walk. Don’t believe the ads. Don’t believe the Canadiana bullshit on the Internet. Have you seen how much of it there is? That’s Canadians trying to doublethink their way through a country with the innovative capacity of roadkill and the cultural force of a wet diaper filled with bees.

If you must come to English Canada…

To set the mood, please begin here:

I’m so, so sorry. If you’re doomed to live in English Canada, consider if your country of origin allows for compassionate euthanasia which part of this rancid morass you are being forced to move to. Each province has a different schema of bullshit for you to wade through on top of the unthinkable shittiness of the country writ large, and the purpose of this segment of the website is to warn you about the failures of each part of Canada. If you’re here you probably are at least questioning the caker propaganda. Let me assure you – if you are not filled with deep, profound dread at the prospect of moving to Canada, you are not emotionally prepared for the horror that awaits you.

So let’s get one thing straight – you will find wasteland everywhere here. Miles of concrete and gray, fart-mouthed garglesharts trapped on gray freeways in gray cities leading gray lives from Victoria to St. John. Meaningless, idle lives led in slapdash, unplanned housing in shitty, cultureless abortions of cities is a national phenomenon. A lifetime of laboring for nothing awaits you here. If Dante were alive today, Canada would be his inspiration for Purgatory. Living here is Sysiphian. It is hard labor wasted on elbowless, formless, spongy holding companies branded with maple leaves and red-and-white. This is the slow-death, the painful squeaking miserable quiet death of frogs in a pot of ever-warming water.

Some mental preparation for this Eldritch terror is a good idea. Here’s a good start. Find pictures of the old Soviet Union. You know, all of those lovely cracking freeways and hideous concrete residences grasping for mediocrity as they crumble? Those. Look at them. Post them around your house. Get used to them. Then find a picture of a Canadian flag and post a copy of it on every other Stalincock tower in sight. If you do this correctly you should see a Canadian flag roughly every 10 feet. Does your newly-bedecked home now make you want to cry, to give up and retreat to bed and just never come out again? Welcome to Mondays in Canada. And Tuesdays. And the rest of the week too, for that matter. Remember the song Blue? This is Gray, and it’s your new favorite color besides red-and-white.

Did you check with the euthanasia folks? No dice, eh? Your emotional state is unlikely to substantially deviate from the hilarious meme music video I linked earlier. Emotional torment is your eternal mistress until your return to civilization.There is no escape here. There is only a difference in flavors of abhorrence.

Ready, comrade Kharitovski? Your options for locations to receive your brutal punishment are:

British Columbia:

Stereotypical inhabitants: Triad members, organic free-range urban kale farmers, Eastern English Canadian refugees

Issues (sample): Indian affairs; environmental degradation; extreme cost of living; hotspot for international money laundering; major income disparity; limited meaningful employment prospects

Alberta:

Stereotypical inhabitants: Rednecks, macho-construction dudes, hicks from out East, oilmen in cowboy hats, born-again Christians

Issues (sample): Indian affairs; incredible environmental devastation; ridiculously unstable provincial royalties income; loathsome business class; dangerous urban planning

Saskatchewan:

Stereotypical inhabitants: Farmers, hicks, profiteers, people who think wearing a watermelon on your head is a good idea, literally nobody else

Issues (sample): Boredom; poverty; poor planning; limited prospects in non-extractive industries; broken infrastructure; rampant racism; painfully bad weather; insane devotion to the Canadian Football League; Saskatoon doesn’t even fucking recycle; violence

Manitoba:

Stereotypical inhabitants: Indian gangs, suburban mini-van driving idiots, hicks, military

Issues (sample): Indian gangs; rampant poverty; limited prospects; collapsing infrastructure; boredom; bugs; violence; useless public transit; bumpkin-culture; rampant racism. Probably not worth salvaging.

Ontario – The North:

Stereotypical inhabitants: desperate Indigenous, people too poor to bail out of failed one-industry towns, the shattered husks of the mentally and physically unwell, disgusting rich caker filth on fishing charters

Issues (sample): Non-existent public transit, grinding unemployment, lack of fresh food, poor medical facilities, people live in actual, literal fucking shacks, virtual economic shutdown in the winter. Northern Ontario is the part of the province that Toronto would really rather you just pretend wasn’t there.

Ontario – Blue-Collar Country:

Stereotypical inhabitants: unemployed college grads, unemployed factory laborers, drugged-up suburban high-schoolers, retirees living in squalor at St. God’s Waiting Room and Retirement Home

Issues (sample): Poor transit system; collapsing infrastructure; limited prospects; rising cost of living; population potentially hostile to non-white newcomers; police corruption; hidden poverty; bumpkin-culture leading to extreme cliquishness. You will be an outsider for decades in small-town Ontario.

Ontario – The GTA:

Stereotypical inhabitants: English Canadian businessmen, overdressed women, suburb-dwellers trapped on highways, poor-ass students, rich immigrants who are just here to park their money, overworked young “up-and-comings”

Issues (sample): Insane cost of living; poor design of the areas outside downtown; severe income disparity; extreme boredom relative to its size; relatively uncultured; home to Canada’s useless business classes. You can’t afford to live here and if you can you can do better than Toronto.

Ontario – Ottawa:

Stereotypical inhabitants: banal bureaucrats, poor-ass students, irritating sychophants, homeless Inuit; miserable professional beta-male sellouts; grumpy, spiteful people who realized too late that their lives are meaningless

Issues (sample): rampant overpricing of goods and services; poorly-planned with little interest in improvement; bad and overpriced public transit; limited employment prospects; strong chance of ending up as “working poor”. Fuck this city with a rake made of dildoes.

Quebec:

C’est la belle province. A rare beacon of culture and joie de vivre. Probably the only Canadian population able to live in a manner conducive to humans rather than rodents. That said, Quebec is hardly without its problems.

Issues (sample): Indigenous relations are at rock-bottom, attached to and attacked by English Canada at every turn, occasionally governed by Liberals.

New Brunswick:

Stereotypical inhabitants: unemployed people, the elderly, bilingual hicks, Acadians

Issues (sample): unemployment; poor access to services; poor access to the rest of the country; the province is owned by the Irvings; monotone media culture; little economic improvement beyond extraction as per the Irving fiefdom

Prince Edward Island:

Stereotypical inhabitants: potatoes and their caretakers (who may actually be sentient potatoes themselves)

Issues (sample): no access to abortion providers; unemployment; seriously, you’re debating moving to P.E.I?

Nova Scotia:

Stereotypical inhabitants: unemployed fisherman, members of the Canadian Navy, punks, people left behind by those who “went West” to find work

Issues (sample): violence; poverty; unemployment; limited prospects; poor transit; poor access to the rest of Canada; Halifax is uncultured and boring

Newfoundland and Labrador:

Stereotypical inhabitants: Newfies. That’s it

Issues (sample): unemployment; poor access to the rest of Canada; drug abuse; police corruption; uncautious oil extraction

The North:

Stereotypical inhabitants: Not you. Stay well the fuck away

Issues (sample): see everything listed above, then multiply infinitely. Seriously – it’s that bad. Basic foodstuffs cost hundreds of dollars. The bugs will eat you alive. And the land belongs to the Inuit anyways, meaning that moving there is akin to being a Canadian flagpole.

You picked your poison, eh?

Don’t forget that the things I write about are also there and most are generally applicable. Are you sure you want to do this? Unless you owe someone a shit-ton of money or something you’re better off in a place with a soul. Anyways, here are some general pointers for temporary Canadians:

– English Canadian government systems are unreliable, understaffed, and prone to failure. Do not rely on the Canadian or provincial governments to provide assistance unless not doing so would be a public relations disaster for the government.

– English Canadian artistic content laws (“Can-Con”) ensures that you will hear more Bryan Adams and Nickelback songs than human beings should experience. It also means that Canada is full of shitty versions of American reality television.

– English Canadians are cold, arrogant, cliquish, hypocritical, and banal. Do not expect to make lasting friends during your stay in Canada unless you guzzle the Kanada Kool-Aid so hard that it replaces the blood in your veins.

– You will not see most of the country. If you are out east going west is expensive and takes a long time. The same is true going the other way. Do not expect to see at least half of the country (not like it’s worth seeing anyways, but still). You also will not be able to enjoy “the great outdoors” unless you drive a car.

– The telecom oligarchs in Canada will shaft you with mobile phone use. Expect insane charges and be ready to call RoBellUs (they’re all the same) to contest seemingly random charges to your phone bill. The same is true for Internet and other telecom systems.

– Canadian cities are cripplingly, ass-wrinklingly boring. Do not expect art galleries or cultural events to be well-attended (or even extant) in Canada. Ottawa’s “downtown” is a good place to film a zombie movie on a Saturday morning.

– Do not come for the food. English Canada is one of the world’s greatest underperformers in terms of turning amazing produce into shit food. Outside of a couple of major hubs (and even there get ready to be royally gouged), the food scene rarely gets beyond microwaving crap. Also be prepared to shell out a fortune for shit food.

– Be very careful when purchasing “Indigenous” goods; be sure to inspect the product you want to buy before doing so, lest you end up supporting white people using Indigenous cultural icons to make themselves wealthy. Don’t support caker businesses engaging in this wretched practice.

– Expect rampant public and private drunkenness. If you don’t like dodging puke and dealing with screaming chimps do not attend a major sporting event in this country. This is especially true of the NHL.

Testaments to Canada’s crappiness:

First is Martin, a poor soul from Albion who made the unfortunate mistake of moving to this bog. He writes:

“As a Brit who departed his native English shores for a vast, desolate land that is either boiling to death or buried in snow at subarctic temperatures, I am horrified at the low standards, expectations and CHOSEN living conditions that the locals cherish and take great pride in. Sure there is some beautiful countryside here spoiler only by the building of slum-equivalent cities manufactured out of cardboard and sold for exorbitant amounts of failing Canadian dollars to morons that will not let the redneck pioneering spirit of half-arsed efforts die to enable them to move on (or attempt to at least) to an enriched life.

When I first heard the Canadian anthem (at a hockey game where the spectators spent more time aimless wondering around, meeting up with friends and going back and forth to the umpteen different fast food chains selling meals unfit for human consumption and beer that was flat….than paying attention to what the kids were doing on the ice) yes the anthem….. I laughed uncontrollably! What a load of tosh! I don’t think the American accent helped but for over a year I was convinced that the lyrics were “we stand on God for thee”. I think it works better than the real lyrics though as the attitude seems to be I don’t give a f@@@, as long as I can rip up the countryside in my truck, bike, skidoo and shoot sh1t for no reason.”

Thank you, Martin. Thank you and Godspeed on your retreat from this hellish podunk wasteland.

Up next is this reddit post from /r/Indonesia. Hold on to your fucking hats, because some thermonuclear truth is coming up on this one!

r-Indonesia Shit About Canada Post

If cakers knew anything about the world around them being told that they were being cast aside for Moldova, literally the saddest place on Earth, they would…probably browbeat the innocent person who dared to question best country of Canada, honestly. Many thanks to /u/FantasyBorderline for using this blog as a means to combat caker propaganda – that’s what this fucker is for, and it warms my heart to see it being used to flatten some caker mythology!

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72 thoughts on “Travelers Beware: Advice for Foreigners”

  1. My family moved here 20 years ago from Croatia. They all passed away from stress. Me and my mom are the only ones left. I finished two universities and have diplomas. After 10 years I am still working for a dollar more than a minimum wage, trying to pay bills (including my osap). I live this meaningless existence. Im in my early 30s, no money to go out and have fun. No girlfriend (no money for one). I feel like Im gonna grow old and die and with no family and friend there will be no one to bury me.

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    1. Hey, Steve. Sorry to hear about the rough times and thanks for telling your story.

      I know the feeling regarding the brutal working environment. I’ve been contracting for near-minimum wage since I got out of school. If you don’t have connections it’s nothing more than a crap shoot as to whether you find work or not. And even then all you get for your troubles is more stress and more expense. We both share the feeling of working to the grave, friend.

      It seems to me that Croatia is also lovely and improving all the time. I really hope you make it to a place that feels like home. As it is Canada, the Soviet bunghole that it is, feels as much like home as a hive full of hornets.

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    2. I wish you to find another country where it matches you more and fulfills what you missed in Canada. I think for myself choosing a sunny country, for the most part, is a good start.

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  2. My mum recently traveled to Canada for around 3 weeks. She said she liked Toronto because it was ‘more organized than Jakarta is’, and my parents want to move there to ‘enjoy the rest of their lives’ (also because some of my other relatives are there too).

    While I’ll admit that may be true in the present, I will never trade my Indonesian citizenship for a Canadian citizenship, and I see more opportunities in Indonesia than Canada anyway.

    Also, I’ve tried the Tim Hortons hot chocolate and white cappucino she brought from Canada. They taste like formulated powder milk with excessive amounts of sugar.

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    1. Hey, thanks for writing in!

      Your folks better be damn rich to make it in the nice parts of Toronto – there’s a major housing bubble caused by careless investment and poor planning that has made housing in Toronto incredibly expensive.

      I will say that old Toronto – the Toronto that Jane Jacobs fled to after Robert Moses pushed her out of New York – is good stuff at its core. I don’t know much about Jakarta but I can only assume you have a few particularly outstanding neighborhoods there. This is true of most cities built before the 20th century; Montreal is also kick-ass, particularly the old parts.

      As you say, though, disorganization is a big problem. Canada’s disorganization is almost certainly less visible than Indonesia’s but it lurks in places that on first blush and under certain conditions appear vaguely tolerable. Our cities are unsustainably sprawling because Canada isn’t organized enough to have a housing policy that discourages bad land use.

      But when I go touristing or visiting family I generally don’t say “oh boy, I can’t wait to go evaluate land-use policy!”. When you’re with family they’re happier because you’re there; they’ve also likely purchased the necessities of survival in formless development, and as a guest they aren’t likely to comment on the heavy cost and absolute necessity of vehicle ownership in the 905 (the area immediately outside of Toronto, also called the Greater Toronto Area or GTA). Again, I don’t usually start my visits with family by saying, “how are those car payments treating you, Gerry?”

      I hope your Mum didn’t bring back that powdered gunk Tim Hortons’ sells in the big tin. I’m so sorry you experienced that horror. Gifting those things is basically the caker way of saying “I totally forgot about you and only picked this up because someone reminded me 5 minutes before I got to work”.

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      1. I’m worried about them if they decide to really move to Toronto. About said relatives of mine who are already there, one working as a barista in Starbucks and the other as a housekeeping or receptionist in a hotel chain. By the way, my parents said the food is healthier in Canada for some reason.

        One thing that makes me like Jakarta more than Toronto is that our current governor, Basuki Tjahja Purnama (a.k.a. Ahok), has actually implemented the concept of a One Stop Service Center and spread it throughout Jakarta, and it’s actually compounded by better service by the civil service employees. He’s also gotten in touch with the people over at Qlue and integrated their services into the Jakarta Smart City Portal. Qlue essentially enables you to deliver complaints directly to the district heads for them and/or their respective departments to handle immediately (like dirty spots) or within the week depending on the report.

        Also, Jakarta is finally building the MRT we’ve been waiting for too long for and was pushed back continually from its inception by political dumbassery.

        Other than that, more parks, cleaner rivers, less flooding, and admittedly more traffic jams (but that’s a given, and Ahok’s planning to implement Electronic Road Pricing and forcing people to go for available public transport like the Transjakarta busways that is actually getting better while waiting for the MRT to be finished).

        Also, our current president, Joko Widodo (a.k.a. Jokowi), is everything Justin Trudeau fails to be: a leader. How do I know this? After the Thamrin attacks happened, Jokowi actually stopped his Cirebon visit, flew back to Jakarta, visited the Thamrin site, and simply told people not to panic and told the police and the coordinating minister of politics, law, and security to find and arrest those responsible. Without extra protection.

        So yes, I’m excited about the opportunities in Indonesia. It’s still not quite as good as it should be, but I can see it’s on the uptrend.

        By the way, my mum brought back 3 tins of Tim Hortons’. One tin of Hot ‘Chocolate’, another tin of Hot ‘White Chocolate’, and a tin of Hot ‘Vanilla Cappuccino’. They all tasted the same. Like formulated milk with excess sugar. Also, I just noticed the ingredients list of the Hot ‘Chocolate’ powder. For something as simple as hot chocolate, it sure is loaded with additives. I just hope it doesn’t have high fructose corn syrup!

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      2. I agree WHOLE HEARTEDLY! English Canadian Caker here! White to boot!
        I am born Canadian, lived literally from coast to coast, my whole life. Have desires of relocating to Europe but there simply is not enough hours in a day to work and attain revenue to support this desire. So I start businesses to try and spur some sort of local economy…I end up defeated by the social bitching that is “The Canadian Way”.

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    2. hey,
      you are right.
      there is nothing in canada.
      namely just a shitty land.
      I go back to my country.
      i made a huge mistake of having come here to kanada.
      canadian dollar is shit too.
      all shit
      people here ARE so lazy.
      it looks like living in a prison.
      fucking, there is no public transportation.

      you know buses.

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    1. Hi Théodore!

      Totally agreed, friend. Quebec is truly a beautiful place and it deserves much better than the English. One of my political heroes in this “country” is Rene Levesque precisely because he so accurately and brilliantly made the case for Quebec’s independence.

      Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I just discovered this blog, still wondering if it’s a joke, but as someone who grew up in Ontario and was only able to form about 2 lasting friendships in that zombie wasteland until moving to Quebec and choosing to become a French-Canadian, I can attest that so much of what is written on this blog is totally true. English Canada is a joke. It has nothing distinctive aside from Tim Horton’s and the dash in the Walmart logo instead of the star. But that would be fine, if it wasn’t for the fact that most of them are assholes. Even when living in Ontario I noticed how Americans were more approachable than my own classmates and neighbors (I left out the u on purpose, assholes), and French-Canadians are even better. Now that I have kids, I’m purposely not teaching them English, not because I don’t think it’s useful, but because I don’t want them to identify as Canadians, which around here is synonymous with English-Canadian. Besides, there’s a saying: L’anglais, ça s’apprend pas, ça s’attrape, you don’t learn English, you catch it (like a cold). Meanwhile I’ll teach them Spanish or something prettier like Italian or Greek.

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    1. Hey Jeff!

      No joke – I hate English Canada with a passion. These people are useless; arrogant, crude, and illiterate. It really grinds my gears that cakers take jabs at Americans, Indigenous, and the Quebecois – three peoples who have on the whole shown me more kindness and have provided more meaningful, interesting human interaction than English Canada ever did. And of course the people insulting the French and the Americans are Anglo-scumbags who offer nothing of value.

      It sounds like your kids are in good hands. They don’t need to be burdened with cakerdom. Frankly, one of my life goals is to renounce my Canadian citizenship wholesale and move to the United States.

      Thanks for chiming in!

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      1. I came to Canada expecting to make valuable friends or date and fall in love with someone. it’s not really that much to ask or expect and in my reality here I am passing the 3 years between Toronto Ottawa and Montreal without meaningful connections or warm memories and having to go through winter with its extreme feelings by myself just got me wanting to run somewhere else warmer with nicer attitude and sense. The USA is way better in my opinion as I have visited many times before but how would you move there permanently?

        Never again Canada. and Not looking any longer for anyone from here to date or fall in love with. they don’t deserve it

        I had a great body and mindset and living here up north was counter to my up happy spirit. it’s true I am an immigrant but i am educated smart handsome and well-spoken and all what I popped into was ‘sorry” or ” busy ‘ lot of shadiness ” and uneventful anti-social attitude.

        I advise anyone who lives in a happy in a shiny country most of the year with useful connections not come here. do yourself a favor

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  4. Canada is a lifeless and cultureless place, lacking any meaningful identity. Lacking a soul. People are zombie-like. Obsessed with material possessions, because there is not much else to do here.

    If you are a hermit type person (or a monk), you can explore unspoiled outdoors and enjoy the company of wild animals. But if you need a kind of social life, friendships, romantic love and adventure – pack up and go to the nearest international airport (Toronto Pearson in my case).

    I think the quote of Leopold Infeld (who lived in Toronto 70 years ago) suits here well:

    It must be good to die in Toronto. The transition between life and death would be continuous, painless and scarcely noticeable in this silent town. I dreaded the Sundays and prayed to God that if he chose for me to die in Toronto, he would let it be on a Saturday afternoon to save me from one more Toronto Sunday.

    Not much changed since then.

    About Montreal – it is better than English Canada, but not that much. The same boring song, but in French language. Sounds fancier, but the content is still the same. Unfortunately, all Western World is like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Eugene, thanks for writing in!

      Thank you for the quote from Infeld – I had never heard that and a snippet of the quote is now my signature on the e-mail account I associate with this blog. I’m inclined to believe you regarding Montreal (though the focus on eliminating inner-city highways and the superior transit system really speak to the transit nerd in me) – when even the Champs-Élysées has devolved into generic mush there’s little to no hope for the cultureness morass that is Canada.

      Here’s hoping that both of us get out of this dumping ground of suck and to a palce where “a kind of social life, friendships, romantic love and adventure” are more than pipe dreams.

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      1. I am not actually a Canadian, I moved to Toronto about 2 years ago. And before I lived 4 years in Thailand. Despite having a very nice job that pays me well (I was lucky to find it), I am struggling to stay here.

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  5. Hello! Thank you for your blog. Can you please provide some facts about Canadian Immigration “conspiracy” (promotion of the immigration abroad by Canadian gov, so called “most livable cities in the world (Vancouver etc.)” ranks created by them). Since the government want to attract more immigrants to come to Canada by milking fees from each of the applicant etc. (including the savings the potential immigrant will bring to the country to spend). Those Ottawa “businessmen” are very smart on doing this, knowing pretty well that soon after the savings are spend, the newcomers will start taking a loan etc. etc. Another question. How to alert potential immigrants about the trap, Canadian government has prepared for them? Thanks!

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    1. Hi Marco! Thanks for writing in!

      Immigration into Canada is, as you’ve pointed out, hugely promoted abroad. Dear Leader Justin Trudeau recently announced his plan to hoover 300,000 a year into this trap of a country. I’ve talked about the work side of the trap in post #184 (https://shitaboutcanada.wordpress.com/2016/06/19/184-incredulous-canada/), but I haven’t really gotten into the foreign advertising angle in part because the data is hard to find. Canada doesn’t show its external propaganda internally, probably because it’s very easy to discredit from within the country.

      I recently watched a remarkable presentation here in Hamilton called We Are Not the Other, which discussed in part the incredible expense and heartbreak associated with moving here. When that video goes live I will post a link to it on this page. In the meantime, if you have any experience with the Canadian government lying about migration to you or any of your friends, please drop me a line. I’ve wanted to talk about this subject very much but haven’t really had much luck finding the actual propaganda Canada uses to effectively vampirize peoples’ lives and accounts.

      Thanks again for writing in, Marco. All the best to you and yours.

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  6. Hi. I’m one of those 285,000 (don’t know the exact number) immigrants who came to Canada in 2016. I stayed for just 2 months and returned home after spending half of my savings from work for 5 years. I felt cheated and depressed in this boring place. People are like pathetic here. Girls smoke like chimneys. Job scene sucks. Taxes are uncontrollable. Weather hits hard everytime. I’m glad that I left this backward frozen land soon after realizing my mistake.

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    1. Thank you so much for writing in! It sounds like you were lied to by the Canadian state like many other hundreds of thousands. It is a constant source of shame for me that my taxes pay for the lies that con folks like you into believing in this Soviet hellhole. Glad that you got out before they cheated you out of everything.

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      1. That’s right. Thank you!
        But you know what the problem is, people like me who come from 3rd world countries, get attracted towards the quality of life you have there. I know some guys who are living there for months without a job and still don’t want to come back. It was a tough decision for me as well.

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  7. We need more blogs like this about Canada. Especially ones that allow people to comment! Im talking to you Toronto Star.
    I currently reside in Toronto and have finally decided that its time to throw the white flag and formulate an exit plan!
    The social engineering out here is unreal.

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    1. Hi Amir! Thank you for writing in. I’m afraid that asking for honest media in Canada is kind of a lost cause – there are a few (check out CANADALAND), but on the whole Canada’s media is owned by oligarchs and practices cringeworthy “journalism”.

      Congrats for escaping Toronto! I hope the move out is easy and that you encounter as few cakers as possible as you get out of this Soviet mushpile of a country.

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  8. I’m an American who has toured fairly extensively in Canada, from Nova Scotia and PEI in the east to Vancouver/Victoria in the west. Montreal and Quebec City were easily our favorite cities there, both being much more interesting than any American city–including New York. We also liked the funkier areas of Toronto and breathtaking beauty of Vancouver and the Rockies. Additionally, as strangers we always seemed to find conversation companions in your pubs and sometimes even randomly on the street–something that’s nearly impossible south of the border where everyone is so suspicious of each other.

    On the other hand, I can see your point about the ugliness of the suburban and exurban areas, and I obviously can’t speak to what it is like to live in Canada rather than just visit for a couple of weeks at a time. Yet please believe me when I say that as Canadians you are far better off where you are rather than down here. Canada may be a cold, dull, dreary place to live, but at least your national culture isn’t psychotic and you don’y have random mass shootings once or twice a week.

    I freakin’ hate Donald Trump and live in what is stupidly referred to as “blue” America, but I was one of the very few who was fairly certain he was going to win. Why? Because that is who we are as a nation. There’s a real benefit to having the mask finally slip after being held in place by con artist Obama for 8 years and show the world who we really are.

    I greatly appreciate your blog, however. Much as I’d love to decamp from the U.S., I am very much aware that Canada is a lousy option in that regard. Many idiot American liberals want to go there because they think it is just like the US but without the Republicans, when the real problem is that other than the French part it is far TOO much like the U.S. People also tend to ignore the fact that moving hundreds or thousands of miles away from your support structure of friends and family is rarely a good idea if you aren’t rich or have highly valuable skills.

    Keep up the good work, hopefully you’ll be able to dissuade a few of my countrymen/women from making a serious mistake.

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    1. Hi Karl!

      Thank you for taking the time to write this – it’s an important argument and it’s well articulated here.

      Your opinion actually kind of mirrors my view of the United States, which I generally see as an interesting place with decent (if sometimes difficult) people. I found Americans to be less suspicious than Canadians; in my experience Americans will get to the point and say what they mean. Canada doesn’t even have a national culture, and Canada shares with America a tendency to normalize regular instances of violence and failure.

      Personally, I think Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump are two sides of the same coin. To paraphrase a friend of mine, both Canada and the United States elected rich, aristocratic buffoons who were elected on name recognition and absurd conspiracies about the opponents.

      The difference that I think makes me look to America is in a point you (and Slavoj Zizek) made – “[t]here’s a real benefit to having the mask finally slip”. You folks *know* that something bad happened; in Canada, the election of Justin Trudeau was this country seeing the mask coming off only to decide to snap the thing back into place. We had our chance and blew it. You folks historically see the problem and rise to the occasion.

      Thanks again for writing in, Karl. Oh, and French Canada is fascinating and profoundly distinct. Although I have been utterly entranced by plenty of American cities (Burlington, VT and Ann Arbor, MI to name two) and would take either of the above examples over most any English Canadian city there is a charm to Quebec that is hard to beat.

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    2. I have friends and relatives living in USA and living a decent life. They have beautiful houses and cars, go on holidays, and enjoy good social lives. On the other hand, I have never heard of any person who moved to Canada and achieved a lot in life. My cousin went to USA and found that people were friendly, supportive, and social. I found Canadians unfriendly, unsupportive, and not social at all.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. north america, or any country in the anglosphere, sucks for quality of living. there are places such as scotland, ireland, and quebec, which i dont mind staying for a few years. but in quebec’s case, even in montreal, its only good to live there for 4 years max. past the 4 year mark, you’ll notice the prices rising, people moving away, fun stuff closing its doors, etc. when you get out of montreals shrinking downtown, youll notice the terrible infrastructure, slummy neighborhoods and depressed people. prior to 2011, you could just live in montreal forever, but now, its just a city in montreal you can tolerate slightly more longer than the other shitholes in canada.

      i love nyc and i find to be the most interesting and lively city in north america, and one of the most interesting cities in the world. however just like montreal’s case, nyc is going down the tubes in recent years. no middle class, fucking wall street screwing everyone over. the only way i would live there is if i was a millionare. i wouldnt want to be a working citizen in nyc, be in that big rat race and all, ugh no. nyc has more art institutions, nightlife, variety of neighborhoods, different flavors, more metro lines than montreal. (albeit montreal has newer and cleaner trains than nyc’s metro). i like boston too, but its like a mini nyc when it comes to its problems.

      other than nyc, boston, montreal, quebec city, fuck the rest of north america’s podunk shithole towns.

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  9. I totally agree with your comment ” People also tend to ignore the fact that moving hundreds or thousands of miles away from your support structure of friends and family is rarely a good idea if you aren’t rich or have highly valuable skills.”
    This is the mistake 90% of the people make.

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  10. I am an American that has been in English Canada for 6 months. I am in a graduate program that is dramatically cheaper than what it would be in the US, where I would basically be purchasing a house to get an economically worthless degree. For this alone I have to have some degree of gratitude towards Canada, and no doubt you have not seen the real horrors of the US. I feel like some critical mass of my countrymen, more than 30-40 percent, could be made to believe almost anything with even a moderate amount of televisual programming, and lord knows how long an advanced civilization can endure in that state of cognitive decay.

    With that said, here are some observations on Canada, good and bad:

    – It is very refreshing to live someplace where not everything needs to have this Disneyesque, theatrical aspect to it. I have a degree of appreciation for the sobriety here, even if it is comparatively boring in many ways.

    – Canadians are terrified of being wrong. This limits their potential. Then again, I come from a country where our leaders constantly make massive errors and pay no price whatsoever, and people repeat all kinds of ignorance daily. I guess it’s worth the freedom to innovate?

    – I imagine America ending in some kind of mass psychosis. I imagine Canada ending in everybody quietly going their own way.

    – After just a few months, I really struggle to remember I am even in a foreign country. Maybe this is because I am a post-TV Millennial, and TV is all that holds the US together for most American adults. The cultural differences between US states and institutions seem just as large. Perhaps this prefigures a future reshaping of North America.

    – While Canadian students are very non-participatory, there is also much more expected of them. I have met many humble, quietly competent researchers. Standards are not bent nearly as frivolously here. By contrast, American academic standards are almost non-existent and entirely political, especially in the humanities. I get emails for conferences in the US, and I just delete them upon receiving. Utter trendiness and decadence.

    – Higher education is one of the US’ biggest scams. We have no native scholar class whatsoever. We stole some German scientists for cred, went on an insane post-war marketing campaign, and convinced everybody that Harvard, in and of itself, means something. I prefer Canada’s system of unranked, balanced institutions, something more akin to the Continental European model. As the world has seen, Obama was American “scholarship”, and I would not be surprised at all if universities simply cease to exist in the near future as a backlash against that system.

    – In both Canada and the US, foreign students seem to be the only ones interested in doing any serious learning.

    – In both Canada and the US, life is stale, mechanical, and monotonous.

    Overall, I think about it this way – we both have “New World” problems. We both lack an inherent identity, and only can synthesize one, and so we make up for this reality in two different ways. America creates an overbearing, loud identity, and goes through extreme periods of stress when these inauthentic syntheses are challenged. The wounds are never really healed, we just shout louder and louder through every crisis. We pretend that civil rights were solved, we insist that our businesses are producing real economic outcomes, we take your children and force them to participate in the big American project, even if that just means being on the football team. You can’t sit on the sidelines, you need to gratify our ego. It’s the narcissistic response to being left out as a British colony and told to make of life what you will.

    Canada took the opposite approach – understatement, despair, politeness. It’s still not a complete identity, it’s still a coping strategy. It’s the passive-aggressive response to identity crisis, which allows many *apparent* concessions (Quebec, Americanization, the Queen’s face being everywhere, etc.) but feels slighted nonetheless.

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    1. Hi! Thanks for writing in.

      I’d like to offer some thoughts on your thoughts:

      – I disagree about the Disney comment. Canada is full of Potemkin wealth. If you drive into Toronto on the Gardiner you’ll see miles and miles of Dubai-like skyline in the form of terrible condos. I call this style of construction “architectural masturbation”, and I haven’t seen its like in the places I usually go to in the US.

      – Canadians are terrified of being called out for being wrong. Being wrong isn’t a problem, but the idea that someone else might know that you’re wrong is the stuff of nightmares. Thus the endless excuses and misdirections that cakers love to offer.

      – English Canada is very similar to the United States – far more so than anyone here wants to admit.

      – In my experience at post-secondary there was very little expected of me and even less punishment for not following through. I’ve seen people stealing doctors’ pads, plagarism – hell, more than one of my classmates opted to take an extra year of school in hopes that an “easy” professor would be teaching a mandatory class next year. I don’t have a cognate for American studies, but I have heard that scholarship is in decline throughout the English-speaking world and Canada offers a fine example.

      – There are totally ranks in Canadian schools – they just aren’t official. Maclean’s publishes the list every year, right down to the party school index (which I think is a telling sign of the state of Canadian universities). The Ivy League of Canada is: U of T, Queens, McGill, and UBC (which started as McGill’s Western branch). Everyone else is a mush.

      – The comment about foreign students is absolutely true.

      – I like the idea of synthetic identities but I’d like to suggest that the major difference is that Canada’s ersatz nationhood is built on slavish loyalty to the Empire with the subsequent reactionary fear of reform coming along for the ride. American ideals are more noble to my mind, though the follow-through is certainly debateable.

      Thanks again for writing it! I appreciate any well-written point of view that recognizes Canadian problems as more than things to laugh aside.

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      1. A few replies…

        – By the Disney attitude, I mean the extremely exaggerated and over the top inflections in speech and everyday life. The world is starting to see what many Americans have put it up with daily for years now that Trump is in office. To an American, everything is either GREAT or TERRIBLE. It’s a national system of communication designed for an excitable, over-caffeinated five year old.

        I think many people think that it’s some kind of authentic exuberance, but it’s actually a kind of emotion on command. It makes authentic emotion almost impossible, since emotion is just this 1-dimensional public display.

        Which is not to say that Canada is any better… it feels the opposite, genuinely repressive. But you have to realize that America really is like the Matrix… most people take televisual programming absolutely literally, to the point where we are a reality TV show nation. Serious scholarship? HA! You get farther by pretending you are from The Big Bang Theory. It’s a medieval peasant form of awareness.

        – The sense I get of most of the professors here is that they really wish they were British, but they aren’t. I can see the colonial print, which is good in some ways. It does, I think, bring a somewhat higher standard of expectations, because there is at least a model of “Europeanism” and “scholarship”. By contrast, the US educational world is mostly full of extremely inflated mediocrities who see their job as a step ladder to celebrity. After the age of 45 or so, they then become bitter trolls since that didn’t work out.

        Americans want education to be relevant. An admirable goal, but one now totally corrupted. At the current rate, we are a generation away from college lectures and Oprah being totally indistinguishable. American professors not only lower their standards to meet pop culture, they do so eagerly, thinking it will make them relevant.

        Canada’s universities may be troubled, but I don’t think they will go that route. The problem again here seems to be the opposite – indifference to relevance, and disengagement with students. I feel like they are trying to be old Brits.

        Thanks for the reply, and your work. It’s time the entire English-speaking world really took some hard looks at itself. English-speaking countries have been good at governmental and economic outcomes, but have clearly left a massive amount of their citizenry living lives of quiet desperation largely unknown on the continent. I think there is a degree of hierarchy that cloaks itself behind liberal ideals, and too much focus on domination over quality, culture, and originality. I have to say that the originality of the US was once such a wonderful thing, and allows me to feel some kinship with people like Jack Kerouac and Bill Withers. The US used to be about creating, today it’s just about marketing.

        But, with that said, there is some value in Canada’s colonial ties. It’s like the US turned on Britain and then immediately set out to become its own imperial project. Our fractured relationship with Britain is something we have never resolved, and likely never will resolve. Our national story begins with the parents being suddenly expelled, and we are just left to create meaning for ourselves. Maybe it explains the massive overcompensation. When Canada, or some seceded aspect of it, acquires a firmer identity, it will be firmer and less compensatory.

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  11. Canada is a terrible place to live, you are better of shriveling dead in the cold here, this place is a hell of artic ice cold basks.

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  12. “Indigenous relations are at rock-bottom, attached to and attacked by English Canada at every turn, occasionally governed by Liberals.”

    Liberals have been in power more often than any other party in the last 100 years, and have been in office for the last 15 years uninterrupted. It is quite possible they will remain there for the next 15 as well. That’s because whereas the nation of Québec has an assortment of political parties, and their vote is spread out between them, the English Canadians and ethnic communities here unconditionally vote for the Liberals, as if they were their home sports team or something. Therefore, while you say:

    “Or I suppose Quebec is always an option, though they wisely do their own thing with immigration and I know nothing about that system so you’re on your own.”

    In fact we are currently not in control of our immigration whatsoever. For the potential candidate to be a new citizen of Québec, selection will be based mainly on your potential to become an English-speaking only Canadian.

    You, the immigrant, will be able to live out your entire life in Montréal in English, while our Québec provincial government will fully pay for your integration in English Canada’s society and your children’s English schooling. The liberals will cater for every one of your needs, however radical separatists such as myself will shun you and despise you (despite our Catholic ancestry’s tradition of generosity and solidarity) because ultimately you will have been brought here by the Loyal Order of Orange government from Ottawa to destroy our nation. You’ll get to call me and my people racists for that, with the full approval from every level of English Canadian society.

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  13. I used to visit family in Canada using my British passport. Now, the bastards are saying that I can’t enter Canada as a dual national without a Canadian passport. I have done the research: a 10-year passport is $260, renouncing my citizenship is $100. Something to consider.

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  14. The comments about the culture and friendships in Canada are true. I made no real friendships there and keep in touch with no one since coming back to South Africa. The people are cold and soulless.

    Try as I might, I can’t really think of anything endearing, except lots of empty space. The scenery is the only attraction, but it is only accessible a few months a year. The people, no thanks. The only thing that sticks in my mind is their anti-apartheid BS, even when they took their land from Indians, and wiped them out. They have no clue about what happens in other nations, but have lots to say about it. What hypocrites. Never in my life has I felt like wanting to hit people so often, and resorting to comments like ‘please leave me alone and don’t talk me. Then we will get along fine’.

    The standard of living sucks compared to what i have in South Africa. On the material side, far bigger home and property, I can run more vehicles and toys and afford hobbies, can eat out more etc. But more importantly, is the far superior way of life. Much friendlier more hospitable people that care about each other, a proper culture with its own way of doing things and thinking (not just a cheap copy of plastic USA) empty space and lots of bush and dirt roads to ride, far superior weather, beaches, mountains. On the negative is the crime and violence, but if you are capable of defending yourself it leaves you alone. As a professional person, you get by fine here. But since their is no welfare state to speak off, if you don’t have a marketable skill you are on the street with no income and no health care.

    I am so glad I did not settle and have kids in Canada. Raising my kids in South Africa has given them a much healthier upbringing and mindset. They also grow up knowing they have to be strong and make a life. There is no nanny state and entitlement complex to look after them here if they do not succeed. They travel to Europe to experience other culture, thankfully avoiding plastic north american life.

    The west makes men whiny, entitled and effeminate tame house cats. Best to go have a look, a good laugh, and GTFO.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I agree with a lot of what you say about Canada. I do not agree with you that French Canadians are any different from the rest. During my time in the military, I worked with several Quebecois and the differences were superficial. Basically, it was just down to the accent. I have liked Canadians as individuals, but I am glad that I have dual nationality and that I live outside Canada.

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    1. There are no Quebecers in the Canadian army, and there is no relation between Quebecers and French-Canadians other than language. “Quebecer” literally means “Not French-Canadian”.

      French-Canadians are indeed indiscernible from any other type of full-on cakers. Those alive now are the last of their generations, their children are going to english schools then living out their lives in english, knowing nothing about the culture of Quebec.

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  16. Sweet website. You have probably already heard of me; the guy who keeps on typing: “keep it up”. But I just gotta encourage what is right and denounce what it wrong. I have read all the comments too and agreed with most of them. If you have lots of money, bring it over here so this country suck you dry. My trip to Vancouver from Toronto costed me more for the same 2 weeks I spent in Europe! That’s holy smokes!! Canuckers don’t understand other countries; they’re under them even though they are the ones who are digressing. Recently Turdeau tried to the president of the Philippines to stop the extra judicial killings in country and Duterte slammed him. Good for him! What does Trudski know about human rights when this country is killing its own youth/ people with loans and unbelievably expensive cost of living? What is Trudeau doing to control rent prices? NOTHING. This knucklehead just blinks and looks the other way as the corporate mobsters, feminists, & banksters try to chew us away. Screw that. You guys are crazy out of your scalps! Now some real man stepped in the Philippines to clean the country up and you have the nerve to tell them how to live? While your own youth gets ripped off?? What’s the difference between being physical alive and having your soul killed? It’s you who are the criminals lying to us about some fair promised life that doesn’t exist here. This place encourages unfair competition and devalues education on a whole new level! They do all of this because they are cheap jew bags. Not even the Israelis treat each other like this. How can you be worse than that place?? It all baffles me, the ignorance, the whole system is just a mess. I really hope these people reflect the fact most of their provincial flags have a cross in them.

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  17. I’ve been living in Canada for 8 years and in Ottawa for 5 years. I’m so depressed that I’m thinking about suicide every day. The country sucked my soul away and contrary to immigrants from dynamic or western counties with good standards of living who could go back to their country, I’m stuck here. I can’t go back but staying here means that I’ll end up killing myself due to social isolation, terrible weather and desperation (it is indeed very expensive to travel across the country to “escape” the routine of a soulless government job). Ottawa is a terrible city with incredibly arrogant, full of themselves and cold people. They’re also racists but will hide it very well. My heart breaks when I see Natives people on the street. They deserve better.

    I tried my best to make friends but after 8 years I realized that I’m not part of their “cliques” since I didn’t grow up here, so I’ll never be accepted. Also, a majority of Canadians are totally ignorant about other cultures or ways of life and they will belittle you if dare to express an opposite opinion. Everything is so politically correct and a lot of people have no interest beyond, their house (that may end up bankrupting them), their truck, their cottage, TV shows and their cheap vacations in Mexico/Cuba. It’s very uncommon to have a fulfilling and intelligent conversation with anyone. The most interesting and smart Canadians I’ve met are the ones who travelled in other countries (and I don’t mean going South for 1 week during the winter..) and immigrants. It was so refreshing to talk with them however none of them stayed. They all left the country after a year or so.

    If you’re thinking of immigrating here, I would suggest that you spend 6 months on a temporary visa and talk to other immigrants about the reality of their life. I don’t recommend Canada if you have a strong family network in your country, if you’re educated (you’ll end up working at Starbucks or worse) and if you already enjoy good standards of living. Healthcare is a joke here and you may end up dead or disabled with no one giving a shit about you.

    Canada is a shithole (funny that Trump didn’t mention it) and your life will be incredibly boring with high costs of living and bad infrastructures. The only reason to come here who be if you’re fleeing from a war or from persecutions. Other than that, and I’ll give you a couple of years to realize that you don’t belong here. And good luck finding a SO if you’re single.

    Finally, the economy is not diversified enough and a collapse is imminent. Basically, if you don’t work for the government, good luck making a living without being a snake oil man taking advantage of your fellow-citizens stupidity and cold materialism (you can make a lot of money in sales too). 50% of Canadians don’t have a job because no jobs are being created. Those who have a job may lose it suddenly (look at Sears or Target stories) and typically the corporate environment is terrible. Technology is often outdated and people are technology-challenged. Lots of baby-boomers don’t want to retire because of their big mortgage and work until they drop dead, the “cliques” at work will gossip about you if you’re “different” and offer innovative solutions and all in all, it’s not worth it to try and improve things because most people (at least in Ottawa) are afraid of change. The productivity is very low and people spend their time gossiping and plotting against each other. They also are very loud, especially the women (I’m a woman by the way) and they laugh for everything and anything. If you don’t partake in this fake happiness you’re immediately labelled as the weirdo.

    Anyway, I’m tired of living in Canada. I wish globalization and malicious trading stop destroying people’s lives in other countries and allow them, to make a living without forcing them to immigrate to horrible countries like Canada. I should be grateful that I make a living here, but I feel dead inside. Like many Canadians, even if they don’t realize it. Spirituality is dead here and a lot of people are on anti-depressants, especially during the winter. Our lives here are meaningless and very sad. I have no permanent solution to offer, but if you’re thinking of immigrating here, do your research. If you don’t really have a choice, then I would recommend that you come with lots of your family members since it will be very difficult to make true friends here. Good luck to all who will try in 2018.

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  18. Everything you said is so true.

    I live in Canada for 12 years. I am a first timer on this website. I got into an argument with some ignorant true Canadian. I am so frustrated with people refusing to know anything about other countries that is not a part of the popular media propaganda…. rrr

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  19. Probably my least favourite part of Canada is how many people like the blog writer there are….. Wrapped up in negativity with nothing but terrible things to say.

    Between the righteous bitching of albertans who are sour over things like an energy policy that died half a century ago, the rise of open racism and bigotry that conservative governments around the world have promoted, and this sense of entitlement and outrage that has come of it all, it would certainly seem like we’re facing bleak times.

    But the reality is that the whole world is facing the same things these days. Canada is no worse than anywhere else, thinking that only shows how little you know about the world!

    I’m sorry to all of the immigrants here who haven’t found happiness in this country. Chances are you were trying to escape something, only to find that many other immigrants have also come to escape something, while the lives of people who were here before you haven’t been made any easier by it all and many have become resentful for it.

    If you’re struggling and angry, it’s probably because this world is going to hell in a hand basket. So do everyone a favour and try not to be an ignorant miserable cunt about it.

    btw I’m a Vancouverite married to an Australian. We chose Canada, despite the weather, because the culture and landscape of BC speaks to both our hearts.

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    1. Time to pull out the list of apologisms:

      https://shitaboutcanada.com/already-heard-it-common-canadian-apologism-and-why-its-dumb/

      Let’s see, we got 1c), 1d), a bit of 1e), 2b), 3a), and 6a) on this one. Thanks for playing! Your prize is to continue living in a shitpile of a province. Good job! If you think the worst part of a country with third-world conditions on reservations is a guy writing opinions about issues in Canada, it’s probably you who needs to do some critical evaluation of the world around you.

      Oh, and “BC culture” is not a thing. The entire Pacific West Coast exhibits similar traits, only better because the rest of the PNW isn’t tied down by caker bullshit.

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    1. It was really funny hearing Canadians getting their panties in a bind about how North Korea could now drop missiles anywhere un Canada. No one would waste a nuke on Canada!

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  20. Lol. I feel like this was written by an American who can’t afford health care. Canada is consistently rated one of the countries with the highest standard of living. We aren’t racist, we can own guns without shooting innocent ppl and we are just more friendly than our southern neighbours in general. This article has some good and funny points but overall, Canada is a fantastic place to live! 🙂 I actually initially thought this article was written by a Canadian trying to ward off immigrants by making stuff up, that’s how biased this is! 🙂

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    1. There are definitely racist Canadians and I have found that Americans are equally as kind and not as self conscious. Everywhere I meet Canadians abroad they are telling people the difference between themselves and Americans. You never hear that from Americans.

      Canada is a large country, so there are nice spots (Vancouver, Montreal, Victoria, Kelowna), but there is a whole lot of nothing between Jasper and Quebec.

      Canada has also had its share of gun crime.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Have you lived anywhere else? having lived in other countries I can easily say Canada is the last country I would want to go to again. It is boring. The people are cold. The culture is a poor. plastic copy of the USA. The cities are multiculti cesspools. Hell, my area is far whiter and I live in africa! And in many ways the races mix more here.

      Actually americans are much friendlier, if you exclude the northeast big cities. In america people bring you to their homes. In canada never. I would almost rather choose Nigeria than Canada. not quite but it is in the same thank you but no thank you group of countries.

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    3. Not true. I am an immigrant and found Americans way nicer qnd interactive comparing to Canadians. Canada is consistently rated one of the countries with the highest standard of living yes in order to keep the economy going. That’s a very grey statement

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  21. Im a true born Canadian and I can confirm we are realllllllly, really, really racist. It’s not only socially acceptable but encouraged. I knew every racist term in the book before I was even ten. Never thought twice about it.
    I thought it was just Ontario that was a living nightmare from the depths of hell. Didn’t realize the entire country sucked just as much until comong to this site. Thank you. I now know i need to get the fuck out of this country. If i can ever imagine to be able to afford to.
    Gonna show all of this to my American husband who insists on moving here . He doesn’t take me seriously about how bad it.

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  22. I am going to end up committing suicide because of this country. I’ve tried to figure out how to ‘escape’ but im afraid of homelessness and what these Canadians will do to me. I’ve been reading and reading the real horror stories on what happens to you when you end up homeless in Canada. The average Canadian especially the government workers are harmful people, i do not want to be at their mercy. I’ve thought of hiking to B.C. and Alberta (this is the best area i could find for employment, even collecting cans will do) from Ontario, yes hiking and perhaps dieing on the way since I am unable to get basic photo ID or health insurance in Ontario to even ride the bus or train. This is all due to the government workers here who are complete imbeciles that cannot do their job properly. I show them my Canadian birth certificate, but due to my photo ID being expired and not having a permanent address they will not process. This happens over and over at each service station. So It seems being a natural born Canadian doesn’t mean anything in Canada, in order to get ID you need to wage bureaucratic warfare with the government and their workers who themselves dont even understand the process of their own paperwork. It is as if they want you to fight this inane battle like you had in preschool to see whos right and whos wrong. hey madame i just want my ID so i can get on with my life. I have lived overseas, getting ID is a very easy task to accomplish especially if you are a citizen of the country.. It should be simple process here too right? no of course not, nothing in Canada is ever easy, everything from buying beer at grocery store to searching for products across the entire province since everything is out of stock, everything must be a pain in the ass. Doing anything in Canada is like wrestling with a drunken fool in the middle of a swamp. Just reading through the requirements for a passport makes me sick to the stomach. I’ve lived overseas in several countries, never has it been this complicated of a process. For what reason? Being Canadian means nothing, why are they so protective and yet they give out citizenship to third world immigrants like handling out leaflets. Why are they doing this? Who knows? I think Canadians have been drugged by their healthcare system and are too high to think straight. Thats really the only explanation i can think of. It is so much easier and you feel much more civilized being a foreigner than being a Canadian. If only I had known i would have never came back.

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    1. “due to my photo ID being expired and not having a permanent address, ”

      it’s true you have to have an address to get anything in Canada, even if it’s a friends address, or a business address, or maybe a hostel address, any street address (you can pay for a mailbox that has a street address) to get anything done at so a called Service Canada branch.

      “Being Canadian means nothing, why are they so protective and yet they give out citizenship to third world immigrants like handling out leaflets. ”

      They want cheap labour, Canadians aren’t willing to work for the cheap wages businesses and government contracting parties pay, especially since working a full-time minimum wage or near minimum wage job, after paying any daycare, amounts to the same as a disability check. They also want to increase their tax base, sinces taxes pay for most everything to the Canadian government.

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  23. This is written by a pro-separatist from Quebec for sure.
    Quebec is one of the most racist places in Canada. If you want to hear more ranting about how everything is a depressing shit hole and how we (French-Canadians) have always had it worse off than everyone else in the country, move here–but don’t expect to be welcomed if you don’t speak duck, even if you look like one. The government sucks us dry and leaves the roads to rot. We are like France’s “special” cousin originally from the North, too cumbersome to care for but supported (in spirit). I’m sick of this xenophobic province.

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    1. I don’t really know much about Quebec, but I’ve always enjoyed my time there and I appreciate the Quebecois having some kind of spine. I’m planning on moving to Quebec sooner rather than later, so you may yet get some criticism of la Belle Provence if you stick around.

      Oh, and I’m decidedly not from Quebec. Good try though.

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  24. I really, really should learn how to read before I spout off. I didn’t read the “Already heard it” section of this website because I get triggered whenever anyone criticizes my weak politics, so my pointless little aggro session got replaced by the blog’s author making fun of me in my own comment.

    DAE not getting arrested for criticism means that you live in paradise?

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  25. I am glad I found this site. It offers a wealth of information (and for the lazy, embedded links to sources) much of which I was unaware, confirming the problem of Canada is much worse than I knew. (That the problem is the same everywhere and not just Manitoba and Saskatchewan, and the Maritime)
    It is unfortunate that it took until my late 20s to realize the wool being pulled overy eyes, and untill my mid 30s to realize how bad everything really is.
    The term Caker I never knew before, but already has cemented itself in my mind. Caker business indeed thrives of leeching every dollar from Canadians and the government exists to bail out and otherwise coddle and protect the oligopolies/monopolies so they can continue as long as possible. Which is the biggest reason outside mismanagement in general that every public project can cost so much, be behind schedule, and be done as poorly as possible if it ever does get completed.
    I have the misfortune of living in Winnipeg. We are over half a billion dollars in to have “rapid” bus transit, except that it is only one leg from the edge of downtown to the University in a Giant sprawling city of painful backed up traffic and garbage infrastructure. The way things are going it will be five billion to have a half dozen “rapid” transit legs completed. And long before then the system will be bankrupt and collapsed due to lack of maintenance just like the regular bus transit system.

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  26. I have to agree with a lot of the comments here. I’m from Wales, however most of my family lives in Canada and my partner is Canadian. I emigrated there a few years ago and quickly regretted it so we moved back to the UK within 2 years and I renounced my Permenent Residence, since we have no desire to live there again. If you have a decent life in Europe, just stay there as I assure you Canada is NOT an improvement! The Canadian government and Canadian media is very good at selling the country abroad as if it’s some kind of nirvana & you will have a fabulous life there, which you quickly realise isn’t true. It is very, very, very overrated!
    It’s not to say Canada doesn’t suit some people. If you’re willing to live a fairly comfortable, but terminally boring, uneventful life you might like it. It is safe and not much happens there, which can be good (or bad) depending on your opinion. Personally I hated it and I suffered a nervous breakdown after 6 months there. The work situation is truly awful, 10 days holiday, long hours and low pay. I was promised I could earn twice as much as I earned in the UK working as an IT professional, but in reality I ended up having to do IT call centre jobs on less than half what I earned in Wales. Most of the people I worked with were also immigrants who wondered what they hell they were thinking moving there and ALL of them were trying to think of ways they could move home again. These were Swedes, French, Poles, Ukrainians & from UK who had masters degrees but couldn’t get decent jobs despite years trying. Canada is FULL of people with PhDs and degrees working at Tim Hortons & Chapters!
    Day to day life is also very monotonous as the country doesn’t have any kind of culture to speak of, there is no vibrancy & nothing happens, ever. The towns & cities are all very boring. Simply put there is nothing to do & you can’t easily travel anywhere else! Don’t be fooled by the pictures of the Rocky mountains either, in reality those might be thousands of miles from where you live. Most of Canada is flat and dull. The scenery in Wales is far superior to the countryside in 90% of Canada were people actually live.
    Canada is expensive for most things, particularly food & drink and people have very bad dress sense in general, as if they don’t give a hoot what they look like. You get sick and tired of seeing people in baseball caps & ill fitting check shirts! Restaurants and bars are also mostly in strip malls and boring in the extreme, there is nothing like the cosy, quirky places you find in European cities.
    I get the feeling it’s not just Canada that is like this, probably Australia and NZ also. Those countries are also considered to be a step-up from life in Europe although I have serious doubts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like the site. It’s funny but also true in a very serious way. I lived in the Toronto area for quite a few years before moving back to Europe. Toronto is a heartless, souless and lonely place, and a lot of Brits who went there looking for a better standard of living, found instead a worse standard of living and a much lower quality of life. I come back to visit family sometimes, but it makes me sad to remember the life I had there and the years I wasted.
      Mike

      Liked by 2 people

      1. yes, it’s true but not sure about funny. We only live once and putting up with a soulless living is not the answer. Toronto was full of high rises and so low on energy lacking lovely social interaction with so much frigid attitude and so little love from people. It’s not easy to take it upon yourself because you know deep down that you deserve a better life with much love but what you got self-absorbed vibes wherever you go. I have lived in a nice high rise condo DT Toronto facing Lake Ontario paying it’s a lease for almost 2 years almost 35 K but not being able to get it as your mortgage!

        the dating scene is just a fantasy, too many people but no heartbeat no stories to tell or social surprises around the corner. Do people lack basic charm to even call your self in the dating world?

        How about just walking by popping into someone and sharing a simple smile that can lead to a nicer day?

        How about friends to explore Canada’s nature with?

        how about a kiss from someone you just met tonight?

        and eventually, the tipping point that made me run away from Toronto after a year and 8 Months was a new landlord who moved in. however, I moved to Montreal and I admit it’s a much better city with arts and more of a feeling, yet still, I admit I always have that sound in my head nudging me to head to a sunny country full of warm-hearted people mate up with someone and make some real.

        Like

    2. There no jobs to speak of here. I hope I am proved wrong but it looks like the situation is not improving. As for Australia at least they have the Gold Coast for surfing & swimming; in Canada we have none of that (too cold most of the time) and where I live, you’ve guessed it, Toronto, lake Ontario is garbage. Europe is far more interesting than cakerstan; I feel bad not for the people who come here but for the clowns that try to paint a fake picture of this place.

      Like

    3. It’s true, why do Canadians dress the way they do? It really is very embarrassing. I think we have no culture to speak of because the true culture of the land, the Indigenous cultures, were wiped out by the original Brits who colonized this place. Do you know about the Residential Schools designed to “kill the Indian in the child”? The original Indigenous had culture that was in harmony with the rugged nature of this place. Now Canada is just this awful place seen as a free for all for opportunists from around the world. At one time, for people fleeing Europe during the wars, Canada was great. And I think it is those people who were fleeing and desperate who built what is good about Canada. Europe has better infrastructure, more culture, and a better food supply these days. I speak to European newcomers who come here and develop major health problems from our food supply here–at least in Europe GMOs are mostly banned. And look at all the absolute crap food many Canadians eat here! Is it any wonder the populace is about as dummed down as you can ever imagine. I am curious how Canada is sold abroad. My partner is also a newcomer. His parents seemed to have some very, very,very high expectations of what they would experience here. It’s like they were under the impression that Canadians were just going to be throwing a parade in their honour. In fact, my mother in law once told my own mother that we should “be rolling out the red carpet in [my mother-in-law’s] honour.” What type of propaganda is being pumped out overseas? Can you share any of it with us?

      Liked by 1 person

  27. I am astounded that many of the people I know have a positive opinion of this vastly overrated country and it’s people, even my Japanese friends… odd considering Canada’s historical anti-Asian racism.

    Canada summarized: all of the immigration, prevalent socialist propaganda and arrogant nationalism of the US & UK without the entertainment or charm. I laughed at all of the idiots that wanted to flee to “Utopia” Canada because of Trump.

    A bit about myself, my family is of a conservative Eastern European background. My family fought to escape poisonous leftist ideology, and so I was born in, and grew up in, within the eastern US. Because of my parents’ careers, we would often move… I stayed in Canada a few times, the most recent being more than two years. I had lived in Mississauga, Toronto and Ottawa.

    From my experiences, Canadians are typically very rude and it’s not just the immigrants but the “white” Canadians too (especially male French Canadians)

    I’ve also seen a sort of ‘unsaid’ racism towards people who don’t look “white”. Particularly ironic considering all the “multicultural” propaganda that is omnipresent. Also an echo chamber of hatred toward Americans, even from Canadians who’ve never been to the US.

    Some not commonly known Canadian facts and my experiences:

    CSE has warrant-less digital domestic spying; like the US’s NSA, but without the infamy/media exposure.

    Gov still supports baby seal clubbing.

    Canadian beef and milk is tasteless… not an exaggeration.

    Borderline Soviet ideology is taught in the public schools (worse than in the US).

    No freedom of speech, if you don’t repeat their socialist dogma you get problems.

    Downtrodden ‘native American’ population that lives on reservations, like in the US.

    Lot of Asian gangs; no “model minority” in Canada.

    National treasure Tim Horton’s is completely interior to anything the US has.

    Things are pricier, even when taking into account the exchange rate.

    Toronto: all of the ‘negativity’ of NYC without the ‘energy’.

    Ottawa: decaying city

    Mississauga: unremarkable

    Also the “right-wing” in Canada is not any better. It’s the same near-communist/extreme political correctness of the left but with nationalistic overtones

    In comparison, the people I’ve met in the US (except NYC) are generally more friendly.

    But the US’s police and airport security are worse/more rude than Canada’s.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I love it..this all pretty much sums up the shit hole country I was born a.d raised in..eveyday I try and look for ways to leave this place I truleybhate it here canada is a fuking joke!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Get out bru. Almost anywhere else will be better. Once you are living and working somewhere else you will never look back.

      The place isn’t worth hating. It is too lifeless. It is a place to exist and not live; with a welfare state to keep you at a low level of life like a tame house cat.. You have to constantly look over your shoulder to make sure you don’t say or do something that will offend some PC liberal or some feminist. Language police, thought police, human rights police etc. all to make sure you spout PC BS or shut up.

      Like

      1. agree totally. Canada is a place to exist not to live. Americans are nicer warmer and more likely you would establish more meaningful eventful social life in comparison to Canadians. All Ontario was full of self-absorbed vibe, no one initiates a thing, what a frigid place. take this as an example, when I was visiting cape town for 15 days during one of the nights at a bar we ended up joining another group table drinking beer and on another occasion we met a group of friends who invited us to join their adventure to a coastal area in cape town to watch the whales migration.

        meanwhile in Ontario In more than 2 years I can’t recall any heartwarming social alive story like those I mentioned.

        I can’t wait till I settle somewhere else, whether California or anywhere with a lovely social vibe. I am not sure about Quebec, to be Honest, I want to live in a place where I meet awesome people within 15 days. not to live wasting life among lost souls but MTL is a more beautiful city than all of Canada major hubs for sure.

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  29. It is nice to read blogs from newcomers to Canada who have noticed the plight of the Indigenous. I don’t think all newcomers feel the same–as an Indigenous person myself, I have had new immigrants scoff at any attempts at Truth and Reconciliation and say that there is NO WAY the land doesn’t belong to anyone but them now, as they paid for it. This is the lie that is Canada. Trudeau dances with the Metison installation day and yet sells Canada abroad. He promises newcomers a Disneyland of economic opportunity. This is very dangerous. And really, very uncreative. Canada needs a new vision. It has become overly dependent on housing and immigration to prop itself up. Multiculturalism is failing. In the middle class suburb that I live in, the local catchment school is 99% Punjabi and births gangs. Many of us tried during the last municipal election to make the segregation of the population out this way a major issue, to fix it, so that the public schools would be more balanced–so that when you go to school you would meet a little bit of everyone. Of course, any candidate running against racism was not voted in. It is a massive failing of the Canadian government to court immigrants and then not work at all on integration. The ethnoburbs are proof of this. What is the Lower Mainland of BC going to look like in 20 years? You have Chinese, Punjabi, and Mennonites/Dutch (for the record, we have Dutch here who have been in Canada since WW2 and they still see themselves as Dutch first. They will say to your face, “If you ain’t Dutch you ain’t much. They go to schools just for the Dutch. The rumour is that they are pretty inbred as they have only married each other since WW2. Think of how nuts that is!). Those are literally the three groups, and each group sees their ethnicity as being better than the other. Anyone outside these ethnicities is pretty much screwed and you have to work very, very hard to find a social group. Also, until we clean up the situation with the Indigenous what right does Canada have to be selling off Indigenous land abroad? Oh, one newcomer from India recently told me that he was a victim of British colonialism in India and he absolutely is not part of colonialism here in Canada. Wrong! If you are coming to Canada right now from a former British colony like India or Hong Kong or Singapore, you are absolutely part of colonialism. Just because you were a victim of colonialism in one country doesn’t magically absolve you of now being a perpetrator of colonialism in Canada. Canada still has lots and lots and lots of work to do on fixing the situation with the Indigenous. I think also right now many Canadians are simply spoiled. For a time Canada was very, very good. Amazing schools. Fresh air. Stability. The baby boomers and their children had very good lives. Sadly, the fruit of a good life is often a spoiled person with no character. No vision. Canadians also see involvement with politics as disdainful and they have an impossible time believing corruption exists in their system. That makes them easy prey for criminals. How very sad when you think of all those people fleeing the war after Europe and honestly just wanting to build a brighter future for their own children. A lot of what is good about Canada came from those Eastern European immigrants who fought so hard for public health care and public education. And I think their vision worked for a time. Now Canadians are complacent, and yes pretty boring, because people without passion and vision are boring. Complacent, insipid people. It’s very sad.

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  30. Canada has become a country full of third world desparados. The only wealthy people coming here are mostly from China laundering money. The only reason politicians bring in so many of these third world people is to buy elections Most of the people Canada brings in wouldn’t get a tourist visa for any other country. The working and middle class in Canada has been killed by these millions of people the government keeps importing forever Of course Tim Hortons McDonald’s and Uber love Canada’s immigration policies Although I agree Canada which is not really a country something Justin Trudeau mentioned is a dull lifeless place full of radical feminists and politically correct fascists You are afraid if you shake someone’s hand you might be charged with attempted murder If a student decides they don’t like a teacher they just accuse the teacher of being a pervert and ruin usually his life if you have a comfortable life in another country don’t believe for a minute that Canada is the land of milk and honey unless you are coming here to launder money

    Like

  31. it’s a therapy for me to come read the comments and take some burden off my shoulder realizing that I am not the only one who were challenged with Canada. therefore, Thank you guys for sharing. I personally lived in Ottawa and Toronto and now in Montreal. Ontario was charmless unfriendly conservative a lot of immigration with no simulation, pricy and people know no interactiveness or aliveness, and eventually, I couldn’t take it especially after I had a new landlord who asked me ( in other word forced me ) to move out after he purchased the high rise condo where I used to live in Toronto. in the 1 year and 8 months, were it went so much expensive not to be able to pay half of it’s down payment. Toronto is a big bland city that managed to get a tower to attract some bit of attention,

    Like

  32. part 1:

    Canadian people, in general, are so reserved…”Reserved” as in people don’t really make the first move when speaking to you- and also they don’t look you in the eye (or look away) when walking on the street! I found that odd and heart frigid!

    As a comparison to Americans, based on my long visits to states specifically California and NYC, I found people more interactive/ welcoming to their homes or social activities. for example, I have got into people swimming pool gatherings or parties more than twice in LA and made a lovely friend in Nyc who invited me to come to stay over. Another example, I have been told that I am handsome more on the American side. I can’t recall heartwarming social memories much from Canadians and To be honest, that made me realize that I would fit better in the USA than Treadu’s Canada.

    Canadians might call themselves polite and friendly, I don’t really agree on that statement much. polite is more like passive aggressive behavior and friendly is more like = yes they will say thanks and sorry but nothing beyond.

    Part 2: The multicultural society that Canada embraced contain too many people from a non-Europeans origin and many of them speak lousy English. don’t get me wrong I am with immigration but take this example. I was passing by once University of Toronto and all that I could remember seeing is a sea of Asians all over the campus. The only Canadian feeling was the historic building of the university.

    there are a lot of things that brought extreme emotions within me that I can keep going on and on. but I def planning to hit another spot in the world with a better attitude and proper settings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ja Jad I saw the same. No one looks at you (but the same applies to places like London,, Norway etc). if you talk to a stranger they assume you are some nutter.

      Going to do business in the USA, the busness contacts would take me to their homes, their high school football, ask me to come to their church etc. That is what we do in South Africa: overseas business contacts I invite them to my home. In Canada and Scandanavia they drop you at the hotel and leave you there. I went to many an american home and met their families. In Canada no. What cold people. Americans may be ill mannered in other ways, like chewing with their mouths open, loud, but in terms of hospitality they are good people. I am trying to thinking of something redeeming in Canada but cannot. Americans are forced to be PC but inside are not. Canadians really are PC liberals trying so hard not to offend that they are too afraid to do or say anything.

      The multiculti strikes you as hard as obesity does in america. In america you are confronted with fat people everywhere. In Canada it is the rainbow spectrum that is ghettoised. The last time I left there I flew out of Toronto. i remember places where I only saw chinese. I figured wtf. If I want that I will go to Hong Kong.

      It is a messed up place. In South Africa we acknowledge racial groupings and see nothing wrong when people live and socialise amongst their own group. We are not PC; we admit race and its implications. We do not pretend we are all the same. I can openly say I am white and associate with others of my type. In Canada they pretend race and culture mean nothing yet they still group together. Yet to bring up your race and preference for relationships amongst your own is at best taboo and at worst a criminal offence. Multi culti has failed all over the world, yet Canada wont admit it.

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