#184 – Incredulous Canada

Cakers love talking about immigration. Whether it’s the unique blend of garbage and idiocy that usually comes after the words “this isn’t politically correct, but” or the shameless self-promotion of Laurentian fucks looking to get a booster shot of caker mythology while finding more people to fleece, immigration is one of Canada’s stupidest talking points. One of myriad manifestations of ersatz compromise between the stupid and the slippery is Canada’s interest in taking professional immigrants with degrees and accreditations, promising them steady work and a better life in Canada, and then immediately bailing on the recent migrant by denying the validity of their degrees and certifications. Cakers don’t even accept caker accreditations; how likely are they to understand the merits of foreign degrees?

The beauty of this shafting mechanism is that it allows for both the red-meat racism of the kind that really gets the “swills beer while standing in garage” demographic and the mythological “faire Canada” of the shameless Laurentian to stand in the same place. See? There’s totally work in Canada! Migrants are coming from all over with all sorts of skills and talents! And when the migrant either can’t find work at all or join the ranks of the underemployed masses like the 53% of migrant cabbies with degrees Marty the Beer-Swilling Moron can have his go at the “dem dam migrents arr takeing our JOBS!!!!”. Cakers win, education loses. Just another day in Canada.

(s) The loftiest dreams start here and end in a cab dodging caker puke

It doesn’t help that Canada has a nightmarishly complicated screening process and migrants are frequently not told of the complexities awaiting them. And it’s not like the government is helping; take a look at the website for the Canadian Information Centre for International Credentials. Are you not fluent in English or French yet? Hope you can read this in one of those languages because the fuck if Canada’s gonna put this information in languages that migrants are more likely to understand! Nothing says “welcome to Canada, where we will help you towards a new life” like a wall of complex instructions laden with exceptions and requirements.

The result? Stressed-out, pissed-off people who bail at the first chance and leave with the battle scars associated with trying to exist in Cakertown. One-third of male immigrants to Canada leave after fewer than 20 years; of those, most will bail out within the first year. And in so doing they affirm the two-headed hypocrisy of Canadian thinking about migrants. They came seeking hope to satisfy the Laurentian twit; they “couldn’t tough it out” and “didn’t keep their sticks on the ice” to satisfy the Below-Average Hockeymans Caker-Brigades. Even better, we can slam the door on people who are waiting without a lick of transparency for God-knows-what forms to be filled. Want to go home and visit family? Well, fuck you – if you leave, you’re not coming back. Even if you were educated in Canada on a student visa, confusion and complication end up sending people away. We’ll take you money, folks, but Canada doesn’t exactly have a track record of holding up its end of a bargain. Ask the Indigenous.

This has a sad, personal dimension that I want to hammer in before I sign off. Canada isn’t just ruining the lives of abstracted individuals. These are human beings, people with goals and hopes and dreams who were duped and ended up as cabbies, cashiers, temporary help – dreck-work that in no way meshes with the visions and promises they were given. I got shit out of the caker university system grizzled and pissy enough; Lord knows the pain of people who came so far for so little. Want to see some victims, people who were duped and deceived into leaving friends and family to come to a concrete bog? Here’s a big ol’ list of ’em, each one a stark reminder of the human costs associated with caker mythology not even remotely meshing with Canadian reality.

And as you flip through the link just remember – cakers are proud of their concept of multiculturalism.



3 thoughts on “#184 – Incredulous Canada”

  1. I stumbled upon this blog a few weeks ago, and have found it therapeutic in so many ways to read what I struggled to put into words while I lived in Canada and now after I am back home in the US! I moved to Canada after receiving a job offer from a competitive international search to fill a single position. I was promised by my new employer that they were committed to bringing me permanently to Canada, yet I found myself in the Temporary Foreign Workers’ Program instead, with a marginal legality even then since the documents did not match the job I was performing. Unfortunately, I was tied to the employer, and their incompetence became my issue. Long story short, I was forced to leave the country and it was ugly for many months up to that point and after!

    For all my difficulties, I still felt and feel such a strong sense of injustice and sadness for those immigrants to Canada who either do not have the language/cultural understanding to sort out what is happening to them, or who are trapped by the economics of their immigration and simply do not have the funds to seek alternative options. I saw many Temporary Foreign Workers who lived and worked outside of the bounds of Labor Law simply because their entire existence in Canada was bound to their employer.

    I have plenty to say about immigration abuse in the US–I am not proud of my country for its immigration policies and cultural beliefs. However, I found Canada maddeningly frustrating because of the stench of hypocrisy of claiming to be the country of open arms in multiculturalism, then treating immigrants as nothings.

    Thanks for such well-articulated and documented posts that prove otherwise…


    1. Hi Bonnie! Thanks for the support and for following along – it’s much appreciated. I hope you’re enjoying the catalog of caker failure!

      I’m sorry to hear that Canada gave you such a rough time. I’ve lived here for many years; trust me, being a citizen doesn’t help with the iffy work conditions and staggering ineptitude that define Canadian business.

      One of the things I love most about Americans is that they’re cognizant that something isn’t working and demand better. You’ve got a much better chance of effecting good in the United States, where people will actually listen to criticism of the country than you would in Canada. Hell, just being from “AmeriKKKa” would be enough to discount you for most Canadians.

      I hope you’re doing well back home in the States and I hope one day to also be in America, where quality education still exists and where people can still get fired up and angry when they are wronged.


  2. Canadian employers will not recognize foreign credentials, but foreign countries such as those in Europe, Gulf States and Asia will gladly hire a Canadian woman to work in a white collar upper class job in those countries. Talk of hypocrisy!


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