#167 – The Cost of Caker Business

Caker businessmen hid $270B from the taxman last year while crowing about Canada’s social services and supposed liveability as a reason to come to this country and work. Think about that for a minute. Canada sells itself as a place where social services are strong and liveability is high while the businesses and people benefitting the most from politicians embarrassingly hawking Canada like a $2 whore stash money in tax havens and thus contribute to the decay and failure of those services. It’s almost as if infrastructure requires upkeep and that the primary way to keep systems going is to fund them. If we’re missing that part of the equation in caker business land I shudder to think what future awaits the pox of shoddy condos in Toronto.

Taxes suck. I get it. But they’re also kind of important to maintaining the government, and us broke bastards in sweatpants can’t make a healthcare system work on minimum wage and price hikes. Too bad the dangerously-unsafe CRA has been kneecapped and can’t prosecute cases properly anymore. After seeing nearly a quarter of #RealChange’s deficit ($6-7.8B) fleeing the country every year the CBC valiantly shit the bed on the Panama Papers story and the issue has disappeared from the caker media. Recall that the CBC also relies on tax money and you’ll see why this is so amusing and awful. It’s hard to close the $3B Indigenous education funding gap when at least double that amount is effectively removed from play every year. Moral quandry that contravenes the national identity and narrative? Ah, fuck it – more yachts please! Not like the CRA is going to do anything about it even if they do nail you.

(s) But it’s a progressive yacht with maple syrup on it so it’s better than AmeriKKKa

The combination of weak punishment for tax-related crimes and the ease with which offshore accounts and other tax avoidance tactics can be opened and maintained is a perfect storm for scummy activity. Are we surprised that we attract scummy wealth when it’s so easy to get around paying taxes? When wealth parking is displacing the kind of people you actually want to live in a community (i.e.: those that pay taxes and participate in civic life) and the people who do park leave the country as soon as citizenship papers appear it’s hard to feel any less than taken advantage of.

Why would Canada leave open loopholes to bring in wealth that clearly doesn’t care about Canada outside of its ability to park money and hide? Why are Canadian firms able to effectively stonewall the government for over two years? How is it acceptable to have a de-facto two-tiered tax system wherein only the absolute richest get to pay far less and are treated much more kindly than the rest of us? Is it fair that reporters can’t even attend scheduled meetings with bankers in tax havens? Oh, and did I mention that #RealChange’s Finance Minister is one of those ultra-rich folks, with a personal value of around $30 million and a portfolio of who-knows what?

When Canadian wealth uses tax havens and the like as a way to avoid being sued to their last pair of boxer shorts, you know something is very wrong. Typically lawsuits are the result of someone feeling so aggrieved or wronged that they’re willing to try their hands at caker-law. If you’re that scared of losing money from lawsuits, you might want to consider how tenable your business is in the long run. And it’s not just business that doesn’t buy into Canada; the list of fuckup shitlords includes relatives of Canadian senators, lawyers who once worked for the CRA, former MPs, the pension plan for civil servants, and the fucking Irvings. You know, the sort of people who are intimately and profoundly connected to both caker mythology and to the levers of power. What does it say when people taking public money for doing a job encourage others to avoid putting money into the public pot? It tells me that caker aristocrats don’t see any value in Canada outside of using it as a personal piggy bank, that to them even Canadian citizens – the people these fucks hire to run their businesses and the folks who can’t run to AmeriKKKa whenever they have the sniffles – just aren’t worth caring about.

And if the people spouting caker mythology and Canada-wank won’t put their money where their mouths are, why should we believe in them or this country?






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