RCMP™ Musical Sunset Ceremonial Ride. Sounds so lovely, no? The Mounties™ and their silly costumes riding about in formation so as to amuse tourists and locals alike. What a nice way to end the day with little Timmy the Hockey Squire and Carol the Defeated Hockey Mom. The Brits, Americans, French, and others all have some sort of parade or show highlighting the talents and skills of their servicemen. Why am I bringing the hammer down on this?
Wait what? What in the everloving fuck is this? Was there an attack on the ponies? Who would attack The Mounties™? Well, besides the everyone horribly wronged by them, but-
Oh. That’s part of the show, you say? Yes, ladies and gentlemen. In a country that derides Americans as over-jingoistic fuckbears, we have the most embarrassingly useless police force in the developed world playing take-down-the-bad-guys before a magical, musical pony ride. I’m sure glad children and potentially mentally-unwell veterans and victims are seeing mock-ups of militarized terrorist takedowns, complete with stun and smoke grenades, before what is billed as a family-friendly event. Because nobody in a country that prides itself on taking in refugees has ever experienced a black-bagging police operation, right? The booming voice telling you that this is “keeping Canada safe” and literally reciting the pledge immigrants make when they move to Canada isn’t jingoistic at all!
What’s stunning (pun not intended) is that an event that allegedly left children crying is being billed as…are you ready…? Recruitment. Yes – the RCMP is so desperate for people to not do anything that it will scar your children and potentially bring horrible memories back to those in the audience for the sake of a few people going “oooooh” like troglodytes. To be fair, these are Canadians and thus the RCMP may well be accurately representing the average caker intellect, but Jesus guys. The RCMP defends this on the basis that it’s only 4 minutes, presumably while teabagging n00bsxorz and banging your mom on Xbox Live, and that four minutes of random terror doesn’t do anything to anyone. And they’ve been at it for years so shut up sissies.
Here’s a quote from the link above:
“ERT has been part of the Sunset Ceremonies in Ottawa for approximately 10 years,” RCMP spokesperson Harold Pfleiderer told the National Post in an emailed statement. “It is to show the public an example of the RCMP’s operational response capability in its role as Canada’s national police. The ERT demonstration is not part of Musical Ride performances anywhere other than at Sunset Ceremonies in Ottawa.”
Remember – for all this stupidity and hoo-rah bullshit, this is still a police force that let a lone shooter into the Parliament buildings. The one that doesn’t bother solving murder cases. The one that Tasered a guy to death. That RCMP. You’re trying to convince me that you know what you’re doing by scarring children and playing Call of Duty: Bullshit?
…Actually, yeah. That’s about what I would imagine a group of munsons as pathetic as The Mounties™ doing, really. Good job, morons – keep solving make-believe crimes rather than actual ones. That’s the same as working on the many failings of The Mounties™, right?