#118 – Great Success with Market Solutions!

English Canadians are so slow that they thought housing would sell on reserves.

That was the plan behind a $300 million program to fix Indian housing: backstop loans so people can build the houses of their dreams and then sell them on a thriving reserve market. Yes, the people who created this retarded scheme got paid to do it. No, there are no openings in the fed unless you know someone. At least the free market didn’t provide for the nearly $4 million in administrative costs, particularly things like travel fees – nothing is more free market than having the state pay for things and pretending otherwise!

So what did Canada get with $300 million in strings and confusion? Well, it had the goal of hitting 25,000 newly-made private dwellings. It has actually made…99 houses, a success rate of 0.003%. Hooray for the free market! Such successes with half-assing it and expecting a bunch of people who have likely never been taught, shown, or even experienced the sheer horror extreme joy of Canada’s banking system outside of simple transactions. I mean, I was shown mortgages in high school – I get how they work, and they still intimidate the fuck out of me. Imagine doing that with an added layer of government and quite possibly without the tools to get to the bank, understand the mortgage itself, or drafting your desired house (because remember, that’s part of the plan too).

And then there’s the idea of selling the house. See, housing on reserves is seen as a federal responsibility. Although Ottawa is trying to squeeze out of these obligations out of the goodness of its heart, I’m afraid putting some maybe-money on a string and expecting 25,000 families to decide that it’s worth their time to try to deal with the government (after years of half-assed, underhanded actions) and a Canadian bank and someone who would design their house is a bad way to do it. Shockingly, the best way to actually get shit done is to do it. Not to hand it off to middlemen to fuck like the carcass of a beached whale; not creating a slush fund of mystery money guarded by the veritable Smaug that is the user interfacing process with government institutions; not denying your appalling relationship with reserves and telling them a la Peanuts’ Lucy with the football that this time the government really means well when thousands of dollars in debt, way beyond the ability to even pay from the perspective of the average First Nations’ family, hangs in the balance.

And that’s why, if you want to do something, you have to do it yourself. Unless the government is just putting it off by creating a bullshit program laden in admin fees and unable to do its stated job rather than actually, honestly addressing the crisis of housing on reserves. Addressing crises, after all, is not the Canadian way.

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