#109 – The Cult(ure) of Hockey, Special Edition: Calgary Sports and Entertainment

N. Murray Edwards, the guy who owns this caustic fart of a company, is probably the single person with the most to lose in the tar sands. He’s also the guy behind the company behind the Lake Polley Whoopsiedoodle that we talked about earlier. Meaning, of course, that he has spent hundreds of thousands on the B.C. Liberal Party.

Well, that about does it for this one, folks.

…What, you want an honest recount? Alright, fine. To be honest, the spiteful, hate-filled part of me loves this guy because of how much he slams the fauxgressive nu-left Canadiana bullshit into the dirt. Does he own polluting businesses and lobby for royalties that ensure Alberta can’t afford anything? Check! Do his companies produce weapons and luxury goods for the ultra-rich? Ding! Evil mining company in his back pocket? You betcha! Shady politics? Ka-fucking-ching. Yee-haw, motherfuckers! This guy even owns the Saddledome; the sat-on shape of that building is a perfect metaphor for what hockey does to Canadian thinking. The nu-left can practically smell the brimstone off the guy’s shoes, he checks off so many of the “evil corporate boss-man” boxes.

The rest of me, however, knows this guy and his gig from the get-go. Huge block parties, running a bloody restaurant, pressuring the police to let up on noise complaints around the Red Mile (trust me – although it looks like we’ve gone to Mother Russia, Calgary is still very much in Other Russia – i.e.: Canada), and generally encouraging partying in the name of hockey and therefore profits is not the best idea in the world. Given how Edmonton erupted into riots, perhaps Calgary should be more careful about the whole deal, given that fights are common on the Red Mile during the playoffs.

And that’s really where I drive this spike home. The Flames seek to enact the very worst parts of Canadian hockey culture – the mash of people excited over nothing, the idea that you can’t possibly not want to join the sweaty pile of stupid, the linkage between that excitement and profits going straight into the hands of a person who, like Tanenbaum, may not be playing political snooker with your best interests at heart. Informed decision-making is not in the approved lingo of swarms of inebriated hockey fans, meaning that the guy behind the party is totally ignored. So you’ve got an idle, meaningless crush of people collected to effectively brainwash the brand into. This is no different than Frosh Week except the likelihood that you’re going to be getting any action is way lower.

To show how powerful this idiocy is, the Canadian embassy in Washington flew a Flames flag during the finals that they attended in 2004. How absurd is that? Real, actual, important business gets done there and the best you can think to do with it is to use it as ad space for the Whoo-Whoo Party Express? I honestly can’t tell if Murray Edwards is a genius or an idiot, but he’s good at demonstrating how much the latter English Canadians are.

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