#102 – Johnny Macdingus’ all-Canadian Legacy, Part Three: Mackenzie King’s Wild Corruption Time!

Here’s another all-Canadian with their ugly mug on the money. Mackenzie King was right crazy in so many ways, but we’ll start with the wild and crazy corruption that Mackleman brought with his rule.

First off, Mackie knows that merely equalling Johnny Macdingus’ corruption isn’t enough. So he threw his massive, gluttonous corruption at a company called Beauharnois Light, Heat and Power Company. A whole $700,000 was offered to the Liberal warchest in exchange for the right to divert the St. Lawrence River for a hydroelectric project. Never mind the shipping industry! Who navigates the water of the St. Lawrence anyways? Just change that shit!

Mackenzie King was treated to an all-expenses-paid vacation to Bermuda courtesy of Beauharnois. Remember that this is a man who “graces” Canadian money to this day. Open bribery was nevertheless too much for King, whose disgrace almost but didn’t quite convince him to retire from politics. He didn’t, though, and he also didn’t bother changing the laws surrounding bribery for almost three decades. Clearly this free vacation affected him deeply and encouraged him to take meaningful steps towards stopping this brutal failure of government.

What other failures of King do we have? Well, he was a racist fuck and refused Jews access to freedom from Nazi oppression. He rather famously said that he would “not give a five-cent piece” of unemployment relief for anyone living in a Conservative-run province. He called the Prairies a desert, saying that he doubted that it would ever be economically useful again. Writing off entire provinces is the sign of a true leader, especially those provinces which happen not to support his political reign.

He also founded the precursor to Air Canada. Remember, this man is on the money. People like Abe Okpik, John Diefenbaker, Alexander Mackenzie, Banting and Best don’t get on the money, but this Turd-dragoon gets to squat his load on the $50. The sheer extent of corruption that happened under Mackenzie King’s watch, and that so many people love him despite this, baffles me. Why do you heil a guy who thought that Hitler was a Wagnerian hero? What in the ever-giggling fuck is so worthy about this dingus? Oh, is it that he was Prime Minister for a long time and in a time in Canadian history that is utterly full of Canadiana bullshit? Is that it? Are we willing to overlook that this guy basically allowed the St. Lawrence to be diverted in exchange for stacks of coin to defeat bitter rival and fellow shit-biscuit Arthur Meighen with?

Spoilers: that’s totally not the end of King’s Reign of Bullshit. He’s going to be getting at least another pride of place here.

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