#82 – Johnny Macdingus’ all-Canadian Legacy, Part One: A “Wynner” of a Story

English Canadians in Ontario elected a hack of a Premier – one who also just so happens to like bribing people. Allegedly.

Kathleen Wynne is a quintessentially English Canadian politician – she’s a lesbian and her party says Liberal on it, so she must be legit! Wynne was a part of the McGuinty cabinet, another deficient Premier whose corruption will almost certainly be returning to this blog. Wynne has proven to be a terror since starting, offering unlimited corporate handouts under the cozy guise of Your Friendly Liberal. Being a Liberal, Wynne almost got away with some Sudburyian shenanigans.

Sudbury, for the uninformed, is a shithole of a community whose more famous trait is no longer looking like the surface of the Moon. A guy named Andrew Olivier, who had won the riding nomination last time Ontario went to the polls to stare at the inside of a partition (and, supposedly, thinking about who to vote for), was not the fellow Wynne wanted to have as an MP. Nah – who Wynne really wanted was Glenn Thibeault, a former NDPer who defected to the Liberals in Canada’s fine tradition of meaningless political floor-crossing stunts.

That was a problem for Wynne (allegedly). How to put this syncophant into the Sudbury seat rather than the chap who was less than 1000 votes behind in labor country last time? To the rescue is Deputy Chief of Staff and sentient hairpiece warmer Pat Sorbara, who offered Olivier a job in exchange for him stepping down to allow Glenn to run. Jesus, this sounds like a fucking soap opera. So, we know the story – Olivier says no, thus enraging the Job Fairy and failing in his duties to Protect This House, meaning that Glenn won the nomination and the seat. Just like Wynne wanted!

What’s really irksome about this otherwise mundane case of corruption laced with Canadian not-giving-a-shit about corruption is that Wynne has evaded questioning for months, only now submitting to the OPP what should have been rolling months ago. Was selling Hydro One so intense that you couldn’t clear up this supposedly simple misunderstanding quickly? Even Elections Ontario sees a problem, although Wynne refuses to accept its findings and Elections Ontario has no power to actually enforce the electoral law because sense.

A population that can’t be arsed because she’s part of Team Red, a scandal that Wynne can’t be bothered to deal with, and patronage handouts in exchange for favors combine to make Wynne’s government a true, proud torch-bearer of Johnny Macdingus’ all-Canadian Legacy.

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