#68 – The Family Desmarais

English Canadians know a lot about EVIL MERIKKKAN businessmen and the ways in which they operate, but they couldn’t give a fish turd about Canadian businesses with similarly deep connections.

The Desmarais family is from Quebec. Their “business” consists of sitting on profitable companies and taking their income while intermarrying and otherwise schmoodling into the political scene. The Desmarais are married into the Chretien family; they hired (read: bought and paid for) Paul Martin; Pierre Trudeau, the totemized Shiny Golden God of Eastern English Canadian politics advised them. Their holding company, an interminable piece of shit called the Power Corporation of Canada, is a textbook example of capitalism gone wrong in that it siphons off profits while literally providing nothing for itself. There is no truer definition of parasitism than this.

And what gnashing of teeth does English Canada have for these *gasp* French bastards and their nigh-ownership of the Liberal Party? If you said “any”, you’re fucking wrong and you should go back through these posts to figure out the answer. Of course nobody cares about the Desmarais! Like the Irvings, the Thomsens, the Fords, the Molsons, and of course Tim Fucking Horton himself, Canadian businesses go virtually unexamined in English Canada except for how loyally they are branded. Minimum five Maple Leaves a square foot, ladies and gentlemen of the Board!

What this means is that some genuinely shitty activities can get sneaked right on past the English Canadian brain. We’ve discussed the wretched filth that is Canada’s mining industry; the thing is, fuckers like those and their ways of thinking are Canadian business. Rather than creating and improving on a product, English Canadian businesses instead look to assure profits and then blob like an unemployed college kid with a Netflix account. Doing things and adapting to market conditions? Fuck that – just incest your way into a political party and you’ll be just fine! Innovation is for real countries, not English Canadians.

Meanwhile, the Power Corporation and the Desmarais behind it sing about how they donate 1% of its profits to the charity industry, something so impressive that the Desmarais family pulled an anti-Rockefeller and are practically invisible in Canada. For these amazing contributions to the pocketbooks of Canadian political figures and to the continuing decay of the Canadian business world, the Desmarais sons are both recipients of the Order of Canada. Despite actively employing three former Canadian Prime Ministers including the father of one of the Party leaders at current and the acknowledged deep involvement of the family in Canadian politics, the Desmarais and their shitty holding company are allowed to watch their fiscal swimming pool fill while doing nothing of value for the Canadian economy or the Canadian people.

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