#67 – Canada Pissed, a Study in Decay

English Canadians don’t care about the postal service.

Postal services were among the earliest ways to assert sovereignty over a North American territory. The Confederate States of America were in fact largely tied together by the post service and the reliable(ish) carriage of letters and goods that the rebels could manage. Being able to move things from place-to-place and to do so reliably is a good thing to be able to do. Naturally, Canada Post was told that the “things” they were to move are advertisements and that deliveries are now to be done at a community box.

The postal service has, to believe the national media been bleeding out since inception. Never mind that the Canadian government also doesn’t expect to make money off of highways (which cost billions to maintain); Canada Post needs to be profitable at all costs because there is literally no benefit to having a national postal carrier or even a debate about the merits of what to do with it. So, when it isn’t hawking Canadiana-ridden stamps Canada Post is being treated like the Globe and Mail – to hell with your quality, just balance your books! Those “permanent” stamps better not be on sale because stamp prices can’t stay static!

The drive to stay profitable at all costs without either cutting the government’s cord (as Sweden and the Netherlands have) or having the government invest in its company (modernization is estimated to cost $2.7B) and use it as a public good rather than a for-profit entity (even though Canada Post made profits despite being antiquated until 2011), Canada is determined to match the level of service to the company’s fiscal fates. Pursuing quality mail delivery? Fuck that – old people can wait for their pizza coupons and stupid mail-in bullshit letters from MPs. Canada is now one of a tiny club of advanced states that can’t handle door-to-door mail delivery, opting for community boxes.

Forget those fucks who have mobility problems, right? And rural people – ugh, fuck them even harder. It isn’t like Canada has any nondescript bad weather, right? Matching service to decay while staring blankly at a company is a recipe for killing trust in the postal service, but Canada would need to have a plan otherwise and planning isn’t on the docket. So the mediocrity continues; the company continues to go unloved and underfunded while being constantly attacked on the news for wasting money and delivering poor service, which is what happens when you watch something fail rather than planning to fix it.

Nobody sends mail anymore (online shopping? What heresy is this? You drive to the Hudson’s Bay Credit Agency like everyone else, butttaco!), so letting the mail service decay rather than thinking about how to best use what it has is a good idea. You don’t make more with less – unless, that is, you’re Canada.

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