#49 – Getting Schooled, Part Three: Get Stuffed, Kids!

As we’ve been going over, Canada is shitty when it comes to schooling. We’ve talked about the low quality of the material going into these institutions. We’ve talked about how professors are underpaid and subject to the perils of contract work. Now it’s time to add to this shit-kindling another peril coming to a caker university near you. In the face of falling government funding for institutions of higher learning and the increasingly-dubious value of postsecondary education, schools increasingly find themselves needing to find ways to more money. In other words, our colleges and universities are devolving into de-facto businesses, focused more on profit than on education. Oh, joy. It’s our old friend caker business.

(S) Seen here hard at work holding Canada back

Any good example of caker business simply has to involve the dislocation of peoples for the sake of profit, and in caker school this role is being filled by the international student, numbers of which are soaring in recent years. A worrying amount of university budgets now lean on the practice of government selling entry into this country in exchange for boatloads of money. Never mind the negative consequences of this cheap-ass attempt on the governments of Canada’s provinces to pass the buck on providing needed funding. Forget the fundamentally damaging impact of corporatizing education. Especially when you can do all of this while hiding behind a shield of diversity. What’s that? You don’t believe in randomly stuffing more foreign students into our schools? You must be a racist! Trump alert! Trump alert!

And of course, here’s the part where I try to piss on the right-wing moron brigade that is presently nodding along and hoping that I’ll throw some racist red meat at them. ‘Fraid that’s not going to happen. I happen to like the concept of international students a great deal, truth be told. But here’s the thing – I also like infrastructure that works, and one of the problems with treating foreigners like cash cows in the name of squeezing profits into an increasingly overcomplicated postsecondary landscape is that the basic concepts of education are forgotten. Oh, and that the education they got leaves with them, because I’m pretty sure most of them have realized after a few years how shit Canada is compared to where they came from.

I would consider the first building block to any postsecondary education to be literacy in the language of instruction. And Canada immediately fails at the gate on that one! Surprise! There’s something especially gross about the idea that Canada is prepared to sell its academic integrity so quickly that it doesn’t even bother ensuring that the ostensible student can even understand the language of so-called instruction before the caker croupier comes for their pocketbook. Then again, you, the student were probably recruited by a shady motherfucker in one of Canada’s favorite industries: shady, barely-regulated bullshit artistry.

Once you’ve been conned into coming here, caker business surely hasn’t given a shit about actually housing the influx of newly-fleeced foreigners.  But of course, there’s also that most awesome of caker business practices, drip pricing, here to fuck up the foreign student’s day! Oh, and here’s hoping you aren’t caught in a nightmare scenario where you end up hiding from Border Security in a Regina church! And since you are basically a fiscal piñata to school administration you won’t get a real education anyways, since you won’t be allowed to fail. And if you even wanted to stay in this dumpster fire of a country, good fucking luck!

And those are a smattering of the perils of the international student, fiscal crutch and victim of caker business and its unending quest to berid itself of responsibility by crushing the dreams and hopes of others.


4 thoughts on “#49 – Getting Schooled, Part Three: Get Stuffed, Kids!”

  1. We need to coordinate on starting a “I hate Canada” forum where immigrants and visitors can share their Canadian horror stories. The previous venting areas like notcanada.com and superdps’s “I hate Canada” article have disappeared or have taken down. There is a whole lot of “I hate Canada” google searches but no centralized place where people can vent.


    1. Hi, Matt! Thanks for writing in.

      I wholly agree with you about coordinating a forum. I’ve actually wanted to do so for some time now. To be honest one of the reasons I started this thing was because I’m interested in how others deal with this caustic hellhole.

      To be honest I’m not terribly sure what the best option for that is. If you’re okay with I’ll send you a message to talk more about the idea.


  2. Oh man thanks so much for this post. One of the biggest frauds in this country is its educational system. It will leave you unqualified. Never have I seen such a useless approach to ‘train’ people. No employer will need you coming in with a damn dictionary, what planet are these people living on? Literally, Canada thinks it is its own planet. Can somebody please say inferiority complex? The educational system here is a joke and the funny thing is its own universities, companies, and people devalue it. It is also funny how educated people get treated in this country: like crap. Never an employer was blown away by my so called ‘Canadian’ education. I went to York University by the way, a place that is in its own la-la land. Ignorance and misunderstanding of morality triumphs here. After I finished university, I was told to go back and do some more after spending countless thousands of dollars and several years! What a joke! No wonder why nobody takes our education seriously: it’s all a sham.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am “Canadian” and also Indigenous. You can be both, right? But you couldn’t always be both, that’s the sad truth of Canada. Anyway, I once worked as a a manager at a post-secondary institution here and what was very sad was, wait for it, they didn’t require people in management to have a degree from that said institution. People with less education than me had more senior positions and earned more money. Isn’t that hilarious? Why wouldn’t you at the least make sure people in your management positions had degrees from the very institution that you were now working for? At that time we also were increasingly relying on fundraising and corporate sponsorships–this has not hurt the Arts as much as it has hurt science (hello Big Pharma, hello autistic children, hello children with life-threatening food allergies). What is funny is that in daily life I sometimes tell other Canadian moms how universities make their money, and why their children are now sick, and they look at me like I’m bat-shit crazy. I mean, what would anyone know about things like this? And certainly their government would be taking care of them. This over reliance on international students to prop up everything that is broken is insanity. We are clearly that broken that we can’t figure out how to fix this place. How sad and racist too to just be bringing in all these people from all over the world to prop up our decaying institutions. Your blog is very good. I have to say it’s balanced, because, even though I have a lot to say about this place,it’s home, right? So, I like that you are avoiding the use of the word “hate”.


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