#47 – AmeriKKKa, Part Five: Shooty-mans

The subject of policing in Canada is one that is fraught with racial tensions, complex local politics, and a staggering degree of failure both historical and contemporary. Obviously, addressing problems in Canadian policing like, say, the established connections between police and organized crime is a non-starter here in Cakerstan. Fortunately for those who would rather plug their ears and avert their eyes from institutional failure than deal with the problem Canada’s neighbor has a well-publicized policing problem. Of course, American policing agencies have neither the governing context nor any of the historical relationships that define and complicate Canadian policing services, but that doesn’t matter. Enter AmeriKKKa, our beloved counterpoint and perpetual bearer of ersatz redemption from moronic cakers adamant on using American problems to justify Canadian inertia. “Better than AmeriKKKa!” the caker gearns, greedily holding onto the intellectual equivalent of a participation trophy as a means of avoiding any of the hard work that Americans are putting into fixing their own policing woes. Even talking about failures of policing like Canada’s own gun problem is controversial; however far behind the Americans may be, at least there is a vocal population that has decided to move forward and demand better!

To begin a list that will be oft-revisited in terms of fodder for this blog, Canada’s policing services are frequently exposed as being profoundly wanting. Where they aren’t demonstrating astonishing incompetence as is the norm for Canada’s Royal Canadian Mounted Police, they’re clogging municipal budgets, shitting on black people, shitting on Indigenous people, and acting like macho chumps as they do it. As the de-facto thugs of the Canadian state the Northwest Mounted Police (which would become the Royal Canadian Mounted Police) play a role in Canada’s darkest hours. And the institution was, of course, an absolute paragon of Canadian governing tradition, which is to say that it was corrupt as shit and used to maintain the government of that great founder of democracy, John Macdonald.

(S) Lawrence Herchmer, the Beard of the NWMP

By way of example, let’s talk about the “gun problem” in Canada again. Because AmeriKKKa has an obvious problem with too many untrained, unstable people having access to dangerous firearms for dubious reasons beyond the letter of the law cakers are easily able to ignore Canada’s gun-related problems. In classic caker fashion the reaction to rapidly-increasing rates of gun violence across the country has been to deny the existence of a problem by gibbering about AmeriKKKa. Here’s a piece from the Toronto Star with the chilling byline “It’s an absurdity when young men claim it’s easier to get a gun than a job and an indictment against this self-proclaimed world class city of Toronto”. The so-called “6ix” is the epicenter of Canada’s nascent gun trafficking problem, which the valiant Boys in Blue have opted to resolve by blaming the RCMP’s apparent inability to notice when licensed gun owners suddenly opted to purchase shit-tons of guns. To the tune of one-million – as in, there are 1 million illegal firearms just…floating around in Canada. Fear not, though! Prince Selfie is doing all that he can to save us.

So that’s just a small smattering, basically an overview, of the extent to which policing failures are baked into the very bones of this country and subsequently ignored by way of absurd comparison to AmeriKKKa. A general ignorance of the political corruption that defined the original Northwest Mounted Police bleeds into a typical Canadian recalcitrance towards any kind of honest evaluation of national history to create a perfect maelstrom of governmental incompetence and failure. Whether its the flagship failure itself continuing to fart along a path of cruelty and ineptitude or the myriad shoddy police systems in place throughout the country, Canada’s entire decrepit policing apparatus leaves much to be desired.


One thought on “#47 – AmeriKKKa, Part Five: Shooty-mans”

  1. Regardless, Canada can lay claim to the first mass school shooting. I was nearby it too, in 1989. Then a few years later at Concordia university. Oh, and then at CEGEP a few years later – the Dawson shootings. Hard to blame the Americans on that, other than the fact the guns used were made there.


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